Praying Together As a Family

Now that you are seeking a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God, another aspect of spiritual growth is helping your family learn how to pray together.  As families we participate in all kinds of activities.  Everything from attending sporting events to movies to picnics and vacations.  All of these kinds of activities help form deeper and lasting bonds with the ones you love.  Another activity that builds the foundation of bonding and feeding the spirit of a family is praying together.  Many times attending church as a family is considered to be  a family's time of prayer, and it is.  But families also need time to pray together in the home.  The home has to be established as your first, and primary, place of worship.  The tone and feeling of "church" can be created in the home without going overboard.

The prayer space that you created for yourself can also be created and blessed by your family members. In the home, there is space for cooking and eating, cleaning ourselves, relaxing, hobbies, and sleeping.  Why not have a space for praying?  Some homes are big enough that you can allow for an actual "prayer room" and in other homes, a "prayer corner" can be established as your place of family prayer.  A family bible, icons, and prayer books might sit in that space.  Other objects that represent your family might also be found in this space.  Pictures of your family's baptisms, weddings, and other significant events can be kept there.  As a family, you can decide what religious/spiritual articles might be kept there.  Each member might bring their own sacred symbol of their relationship with God to put in that space.

Next, decide when you can commit to praying as a family.  It might be after dinner and before everyone goes to bed.  You  might decide to take 10 minutes in the morning and gather for prayer.  Keep it simple if you've never tried this.  Maybe commit to two times a week and see how that feels.  Establish some form of routine so everyone will know what will happen and what to expect.  An established routine easily lends itself to success in keeping your commitment to praying as a family.

Our family has committed to praying at 7:30 in the morning.  We have automatically built prayer into our morning, and we agreed to meet in our "prayer space"  at that time.  Our routine is based on Sunday worship.  We begin with each child reading a brief psalm that they get to choose.  Then we read a brief bible story.  After the story, we each get to pray for one thing.  We pray the Lord's Prayer, exchange a sign of peace and end by singing "This Little Light of Mine".  We stick to this routine every day so the kids are comfortable and it becomes part of the fabric of our mornings, and our love for each other, and God.  This routine doesn't take us more than ten minutes, and oftentimes even less.  It is extremely "child friendly" and even our three year old loves to pray too, and has her favorite psalm verses memorized. This type of family prayer becomes a ritual and we are all born with a deep-seated need for spiritual/religious ritual.  A family is a faith community that we are born into and allowing for this type of prayerful ritual strengthens the communion of faith we share with each other.  It brings our oneness with each other, and God, to the forefront of our relationship.  Saying grace before meals is a way for the family to pray, but because of its shortness in length, and hungry tummies, it often becomes just something we have to do in order to eat. A short, memorized prayer doesn't touch the heart, but instead brushes through the mind, oftentimes while our mind is on other things.  It doesn't have the impact of a prayer ritual that causes us to pause and reflect on God and our relationship with each other.

Just this past week,  we received a phone call that my husband's mother was critically ill and was not expected to live.  Her kidneys had shut down, her blood pressure dropped severely, and she was put on life support.  After seven hours of driving, we arrived in the ICU and gathered as a family to pray with her, for her, and for ourselves.  We said a rosary, which was her favorite prayer, and then my husband led the family in special prayers that were meant for the sick and the dying.  It was a very powerful time of prayer for our family.  We felt peaceful and our trust in God's plan for all of us deepened that night.  We were ready to let our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend go to God.  We also prepared our children for her death.  As we spoke to our children about what to expect, we sat in a circle on the floor of the ICU waiting room and prayed for their grandma and prayed for our broken and saddened hearts.  In the wee hours of the night, we cried, laughed, and waited for her to let go of her body.  Even though she had been taken off all life support, the support of God took over, and several hours later, her kidneys began to function again.  She clung to life while we continued to cling to our prayers.  She would live.  God intervened and slowly, but surely, her body was starting to work again.  The doctors could only use one word, "miracle".  Her doctor said that in his 28 years, he had never seen anyone come back from the grave condition she was in.  He said nothing could have brought her back, but God.  That is a powerful statement for a doctor to make.

Where families are gathered in God's name, He is there in their midst.  When families pray together, miracles are created, obstacles can be overcome, and what is dead can brought back to life.  God is a member of everyone's family.  God cares about your family and about every detail of your family's life. The lives God has joined together can never be destroyed by fear, lack, or death.  Families who keep God at the center of family life are provided for in every way.  Families are a child's first experience of a loving God so it only makes sense that praying together as a family must become a part of your life together.  Families are made of individual souls that make up the collective soul of a family.  Praying in the home nourishes and guides the collective soul of a family.  The members of our families are our soul mates, each one needing the other to learn how to love, grow, change and heal spiritually.  When families pray together, we see each other not just as a mother or father, a sister or brother, but as spirits, by nature, drawn together, each one reflecting something of my "self" through my relationship with them.  When we pray together as a family, what I need to learn about my "self" becomes more clear, and we become more open to our highest spiritual potential as family members and as individuals.  Praying together as a family enables each individual to see God in each other.  When family members awaken to God in each other, forgiveness becomes easier.  Acceptance becomes more likely, and it is easier to practice loving each other as God has loved us.

Include prayer in other significant family activities such as birthdays, the first day of school, family reunions, graduations, and even sporting events.  There is no occasion that is separate from God.  There is no family activity that can prevent the love of God from penetrating the unfolding events of a family's life.  All families are called and chosen to be a beacon of light in a very dark world.  No family should feel embarrassed about placing their family's life in God's hands.  No family should feel weak because they depend upon the strength of God to guide all their efforts in learning how to love each other more fully and freely.  No family should shrink back in fear of what others might say if they choose to bow their heads in prayer at a restaurant, before a soccer game, or while traveling to visit relatives. 

Your family is a holy family, created by God, and for God's purposes.  The foundation of all family life is created through prayerful devotion to God.  Praying together as a family creates an eternal community bound by wisdom, love, and faith that God has a plan for every family and every family member.  Family prayer unites instead of divides.  It strengthens instead of weakens.  It eases every family burden and replaces worry with unwavering trust.  The family that prays together weathers every storm and finds shelter even while their world seems to be crumbling around them.  The family that prays together is grateful for the little things and the big things that they do for each other.  The family that prays together is happier and healthier.  The family that prays together makes service to others a priority because they understand that in serving others, everything else is added unto them.  This world needs families whose lives are a revelation of a loving and faithful God.  This world needs your family to make God's love real, genuine, and felt. The power of a praying family is miraculous and inspiring to all.

All parents are the living textbook of spiritual formation for their children.  Your life is the unwritten gospel they are witness to every day.  

Next Week:  A Fresh Perspective on Holiness, Creating a Holy Family