I Do

It is not good for man to be alone... This line from the Book of Genesis was a part of the reading that I got to share with everyone who attended Jean and Kevin Poncelot's wedding this past weekend.  Jean is Charles's niece and we were so proud to share their special day, and so thrilled that each of our children were asked to be a part of their commitment to each other.  Olivia was the flower girl, Clare was a greeter, and Nathan was the ring bearer.  Getting a five year old in a tux and convincing him that he loves it is not for the weak.  Getting two girls and myself to the hair salon by 7am was even more of a challenge considering our alarm didn't go off, and I woke up 15 minutes before we needed to leave.  We all survived and we treasured every minute of it!  Preparing for a wedding ceremony is nothing short of a marathon.  Months of preparation, thought, and planning are transformed into the "perfect day" and then in the blink of an eye, the day is over...just like that.

What everyone retains from that day is really what counts.  Of course everyone is focused on the theme of love. And rightly so.  It is love that brought two people together, and love that will keep them committed to each other for the rest of their lives.  Of course my girls were caught up in the beautiful, princess-like bride, and Nathan just wanted to figure out how many ways he could ask to take his tux off. The wedding was at 2pm, and by 12pm, he was asking if he was done wearing that tux. Olivia was especially interested in the wedding kisses and tries to imitate a serious wedding kiss as often as she can.

Putting all the "fairytale" like qualities aside, what can we take away from two people committing their lives to each other?  It is not only the bride and groom who are asked to respond to vows with an I Do and We Will. The real question for all of us is what are we committed to and how will we live out that commitment?  And then where will the support come in living out that commitment every day for the rest of our lives?  The symbolic nature of the bride and groom are often compared to Christ and his commitment and love for the "church", or God and His commitment to the people.  I will be their God, and they shall be my people.


As individuals, the question of our heart becomes what do I cling to?  As a groom leaves his mother and father and clings to his wife,  so must I  cling to something and/or someone.   Am I going to cling to trust or fear?  Will I cling to my "truth" or the truth of God?  Will I cling to the law of love or the laws that I create to suit my own needs?  Will I cling to praying my way or praying in a way that is inclusive, open, and life-giving for all? Will I cling to the views of my generation or can I be flexible enough to put myself in the shoes of those who walk in future generations and past generations? Will I cling to noise and distraction or can I learn to cling to Silence and the voice of God's guidance?  What we leave behind eventually leads to what we cling to, and if we do not take the time to pray and discern what to leave behind and what we really want to commit to, we stand for nothing and cling to whatever happens to blow our way at the time.  If we never leave anything behind, we cannot grow, transform, and transcend what was in order to become what is.

We must learn to "leave behind" what isn't working in our lives and vow to do what does and will work in our life.  It is not just people or things that we must leave behind.  Jesus taught that you cannot put new wine into old wineskins lest they burst.  The old must become the new if the wineskins are going to hold the wine so that we might drink of that wine and truly taste true peace and happiness.  It is our "old" attitudes, out-dated knowledge, and "long-ago" ways of doing things that often need to be left behind in order to create unconditional love, thereby calling us to cling to this "new" and "fresh" love.  If our old and dated attitudes, perceptions, and prejudices are what we cling to, we will be left alone with just that, old and out-dated attitudes. And eventually loneliness, vowing to never let anyone take from us what we love so dearly.  What God asks us to commit our lives to is the inner transformation of oneself, so that we can say "I do" to a peaceful, prayerful, prosperous, healthy, and joyful way of living.  Jean and Kevin committed themselves to loving each other in good times and bad, sickness and health, for richer and for poorer. We are invited to say "I do" to all parts of ourselves, the good and the bad, the parts that need healing and the parts that are in perfect health.  The parts of us that are needy and impoverished as well as the parts of us that are abundant and full of life.

As this newly wedded couple begin living out their daily commitment to each other, so must we become newly wedded, once again, to God-in-us.  For it is God who eternally and forever says "I do" to us, without ceremony and always in the ordinary, day-to-day sacramental living that are lives are bound to. Simply because we were created.. in love, by love, and to be love.  Just as a bride is beautiful on her wedding day, so is our life made beautiful by making the commitment to say:  I do, and  I will, cling to that gospel love of leaving behind what isn't working so that I may cling to the love that works to make what is sick, healthy.What is poor, rich.  And what is bad, good.

When I asked my kids what their favorite part of that special day was, Nathan said, "I loved the cake and changing into my play clothes."  Olivia said, "I loved all the kissing!"  Clare said,  "I loved the dance!  I just couldn't stop!"  May we cling to all that is good.. and rich.. and healthy...especially dancing, kissing, and eating cake!