Take Someone to Heaven with You

Sibling rivalry is at an all time high in our house.  The thought of a new school year being only two weeks away sends me into sweet bliss. I can taste the silence now... Less screaming!  Less tattling.  Less punishments.  Less fighting over toys, computer time, who made what mess, and less That's just not fair, Mom!  I have begun to realize that there are varied levels of fighting going on in our house.  Some fighting is the result of competition like: He keeps copying me, Mom!  She keeps touching my stool!  Why did he get to do that and I didn't?  And some fighting is the result of position:  That is my seat at the table!  Why does she always have to get in the van first?  It was my turn to sit by Grandma!  I get to sit in the recliner!  And then there is the arguing over property! She took my markers!  He ate the last apple, Mom!  I wanted that apple! and Who was in my room!?!!   And we adults still continue to fight over competition ( Just watch a minute of Toddlers and Tiaras), position (the gap between the rich and the poor)  and property well ( one word...oil).

I don't think it is an accident that fighting, fault, fear,and forgiveness all start with the letter F!  I get the fighting. I get what causes fighting and what goes into the perfect fight!  Just the right words, the right buttons pushed, the right plan of revenge, and the perfect plot of how to get even, all goes into a good fight.  Fighting just seems more fun than forgiveness!  There's more drama, more power, more self-pity, and more love of being right involved in fighting! And more crossed arms and pouting. Attacking someone can feel really good, whether it is verbally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically.  Let's face it,  there are a lot of people making a lot of money off of fighting.  All you have to do is check out what is playing at the theater.  We live in a country that can't even conduct a civil campaign.  We have all grown so used to the negativity and attack ads about our  political candidates that the only way to get elected is to fight verbally and financially, while pointing out everyone's faults, through competition, trying to gain power because I am right and he is wrong. Millions of dollars are made, raised, and spent all in the name of fear, defense, and fighting back.  What would it be like to spend millions of dollars, or save millions of dollars on the concept of forgiving the "enemy"? Could we even begin to imagine  living in a world of forgiveness instead of a world that is fear-based and always afraid of being attacked by the "enemy".

When I ask my kids to "make up" with each other, they are always asked to say they are sorry, as sincerely as possible, and to give each other a hug.  And they always do a pretty good job.  The interesting thing about children, is once their apologies are made, it is as if what happened never existed.  They are on to the next thing.  And just when I am trying to teach them something else, and I use the past "issue" as a reference tool, they can't even remember ever having the argument, or attacking, their brother/sister in the first place.  Most of the time, my children start fights because they feel there won't be enough of something that is important to them.  He took my markers is really about the fact that I have to have all 150 markers in my reach because the two markers that I really need isn't going to be enough. Or It was my turn to sit by Grandma is really about the fear that I won't get enough attention from her, or I don't feel important enough, when I sit two seats away from her.  Every good fight usually has at its roots fear and lack.  We don't like to feel inferior or less than anyone, and when we feel our importance or our validity, or our value, to the world is being threatened, we attack.

The other "F" word, forgiveness, (No, not the other four letter word that starts with F) is much harder to naturally gravitate toward.  Forgiveness isn't always our first choice, and that is because our ego loves, and clings to fear and fault.  When we focus on the faults of someone else, we simply project our own fears, our own lack, and our own judgment of ourselves onto another. I release us both from the pressure of needing to be God.  I release the other person from having to be me. I release the other person from what I would have said, done, acted, or how I would have responded. I release the other person from my expectations, my perceptions, and the truth that I have created.  I release the other person from the belief that things should  have been different.  I release us both from my assumption that you could read my mind, think like me, have the same knowledge, experience, and education as me. I release the other person from my thinking that I am more and they are less. I release us both from believing I had the better plan for both of our lives. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Matthew 18:18  If I hold a person bound to my judgment and my perceptions, I am bound by this too, unable to feel the freedom of heaven here.  If I free a person from my expectations, perceptions, and plans, we are both free to feel heaven here and now.

Think of a person that you can easily point out faults in.  Imagine that they are wearing a white t-shirt, and in your mind, they hand you a black fabric marker.  Write every fault you can find on their t-shirt.  Go ahead!  Go crazy!  Come on- you can fill up the whole t-shirt!  Now,  have them look at you.  Then they take off that t-shirt and put it on you.  You wear it and it fits perfectly!  One size fits all!  That is what we do when we point out the faults in another person.  We fill up their t-shirts and then they put it on us!  We are all running around with each other's t-shirts on!  What we point out in another is a fault we know intimately in ourselves.  We have simply filled up our own t-shirt!  That person has easily become the mirror of our inner selves.  We have attacked and found fault with no one else but ourselves!  We have projected something about us, and written it upon the soul of another, making them into the likeness and image of ourselves.

Anytime we choose fear and fault over forgiveness, we interfere in the good work God has begun in them and in me, and we hold each other hostage at the gates of hell.  Remembering that when I fault-find, I put that T-shirt on me.   We are always joined in heart and mind.  Because we have a body, we are fooled into believing we are separate from each other.  That is "you" in your body, and this is "me" in my body.  But heaven's gates are only opened when we see the innocence in the other person.  When I free the other person from having to be "me" in a situation that he just isn't capable of being "me" in, we are both free to soar to higher realms.  The heavenly gates of innocence and freedom were never locked in the first place.  They were always open.  And they remain opened by a slight shift in our understanding of forgiveness.  When we forgive someone, we are proclaiming a belief that there could have  been no other way, no other words, no other choice, but the choice of words and actions that were made.  I release both of us from my belief and my expectation that the painful experience should have been played out differently. Matthew 18:18   We play God because we believe that we know what should have been done or said. I had the right plan, the right words, and the right outcome, and they didn't follow it.

If we don't choose forgiveness, and we hang on to judgment,  everything good that God wants to bless us with hangs in the balance, waiting for our energy to shift to a place of acceptance.  If blame were a ball, and God asked me to toss that ball aside, and forget about it,  so my hands could be empty, so that I could hold a huge present, wrapped in a beautiful golden bow, that was prepared just for me, a present so perfect and beautiful, that I would treasure forever, I would have to choose to give, what I thought was the perfect thing to hold onto.  After all, this ball bounces and rolls.  You can play catch with it and participate in a game of keep-away.  I liked the competitive nature of that shiny, bright ball. I liked winning. I liked feeling powerful and choosing people to be on my team. I liked keeping score when I play with that ball.  And besides I don't really know what is inside that box.  What if it is just a different ball?  You finally decide to take a chance and let the ball go.  Walking away from the ball, your hands empty, you think, Now what? You turn around and the huge present wrapped in a special golden bow has been opened, and into your empty arms jumps a puppy.  The puppy jumps all over you, licks your face, leaps into your arms, and then jumps out of them quickly and finds the ball you threw off to the side.  Grabbing the ball in his mouth, your puppy brings it back to you.  Now you not only have friendship, loyalty, and unconditional love, you also got the ball back, complete with a new purpose for it.  The risk you took to let go of the ball,  believing that something else that God could dream up could be even more amazing, more loving, and even more special than anything you could have dreamed that one ball could do, was worth it.  You even ponder the idea of allowing the "enemy" to play with you and  your "new" ball, and your puppy.

Forgiveness says to God,  I'll let you be God in my life, not judgment.  Forgiveness says to God, I can't know or understand your ways, but I trust in the purpose you have for this situation.  I'm sorry I needed the other person to think like me, behave like me, have the same life experiences like me, and perceive everything like I perceived it to be.  Forgiveness lets you be you, and me be me.  Forgiveness says to the other person, please come with me to heaven.  Forgiveness says I will not only put myself in your shoes, but I will put myself in your heart, and feel what your heart feels.  I don't have to condone or excuse what you did, but I can understand, from God's perspective that you did what you did based on your knowledge, your journey, your experiences, your fears, your worries, and your "truth".  Forgiveness means I "get" that God doesn't love me more and you less. 

Here is a thought that blows my mind.  God loves my "enemy" as much, and as well, and as thoroughly and unconditionally, as I love me.  Forgiveness does not require us to send a hallmark card to the person that "hurt" us, but true forgiveness is the hallmark of a person who is serious about growing spiritually.  What if our foreign policy was one of forgiveness?   What if we guarded the preciousness of forgiveness the way the guards keep watch over Buckingham palace and all its precious jewels? Instead of searching for weapons of mass destruction, what if we searched for evidence, and proof, of the ultimate weapon of victory...massive piles of bibles, holy books, sacred texts, and plans for building up peace. Imagine what turning on our newscasts would feel like, if they were full of story after story of forgiveness, God-sightings, and miracles.  Forgiveness on a person- to- person level is huge, but we have to begin to think globally.  Global forgiveness will change our world. Global reconciliation will be a necessity in order to restore peace. What would it look like if our world held a forgiveness summit?  What would it feel like for all of humanity to see the leaders of every nation lock themselves in a meeting hall until atonement had been achieved? Think about it.  Terrorists need an enemy.  If there are no enemies, only teachers of unconditional love, terrorism would end. Seem impossible?  It is if we don't rely on God's power and try to do it under our own strength.  Instead of a situation room, what if there was a heart and soul room?  When a crisis of darkness, insanity, and hopelessness arises somewhere in the world, what if instead of getting defensive, we got reflective, empathetic, and planned strategically how to fill that empty place of darkness with the active light of love instead of filling that empty space with more weapons, tanks, and armies.  Instead of enforcing a surge of troops, what if there was a surge of prayer in every country, a surge of belief in God's power to restore, heal, and repair every nation's wounds. Call me crazy, but I don't think it is anymore crazy than the craziness of what we here on the news.  If I can forgive one person, I can forgive an entire population of people, and  nation could forgive nation.  It is less of a risk for a person to strap a bomb to himself and blow up a building, intending to kill people than it is to say I'm sorry.  I release us both into the hands of a God who is for all of us.  Absolutely all of us, no exclusions.  We have grown so used to holding weapons in our hands.  When will we get used to holding forgiveness in our hearts?  We are so used to dreams of revenge.  When will we be able to write all the good things we see in another on that T-shirt?  Instead of being quick to judge, let us be quick to see God in every situation and every person.

God is for all of us, even for the "enemy".  God is not against me, or my enemy.
God has counted the hairs on my enemy's head, and my head too.
God fearfully and wonderfully made me, and my enemy.
God knows the plans He has for me, and my enemy, plans for a future filled with hope and prosperity.
God has begun a good work in me and my enemy. God can make my heart, and my enemy's heart, clean.
The salvation of God includes me and my enemy.   
God listens to the prayers of my enemy with the same intensity, the same concern, and the same readiness to answer.
Even our enemy is far more valuable to God than the birds that he feeds.

What if our successes in life were not measured by our salaries, our positions at work, our awards that sit on our shelves, or what is in our bank account, but instead measured by how many people we have truly forgiven?  How many of us, when we pray for our needs, include the needs of our enemies?Remember, we are seen as someone's enemy.  Let that sink in....we...are...seen....as...someone's.....enemy.

God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers.  Be happy about it!  Be very glad!  Matthew 5: 11-12  Wow, this is a very radical thing to try and implement in your life.  Be happy and be glad when people hurt you!  What makes this possible is that everyone is joined to us, so if we decide to "attack" them, we are simply attacking ourselves.  If we remain glad and happy, we are glad and happy for ourselves!

Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me?  Seven times?  No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!"  Seventy times seven.  In other words, every chance you get. And we will get plenty of chances!  Practice forgiving, until it becomes as natural and desired as eating is in our lives.  Practice, practice, practice!  The kingdom depends upon our radical devotion to freeing everyone from the hope that things could have been different. Forgiveness believes everything is ordered in a divine plan, of the Divine Mind.  Forgiveness says, I release both of us from each other's image of God that we each  have made into our own likeness.

Grab your favorite white t-shirt and play a game of fetch with your beloved, furry family member! Become child-like in your life, your love, your hurts, your hugs, and your prayers.  Say your sorry when you need to. Let go with child-like trust and see what it feels like to bless your enemy, knowing that you have just blessed yourself!  See God in everyone and every situation and feel the peace that surpasses all understanding.  Be kind to one another each and every day... tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.  Let the old ways of revenge, judgment, and blame pass away and live in a new world.  Do not settle to be conformed to a world of hate, self-pity, and lack.  But instead let your enemy teach you and renew your mind, with the miracle of seeing your enemy as your friend!  Yes, thank your enemy, they are really a friend to your soul.  Forgiveness transforms the "enemy" into the teacher, the perfect soul-mate we needed in order to learn a lesson, have an "ah- ha!" moment, and "get" what God has been trying to tell us all along.  Forgiveness is a new belief that the one who "attacks" us is simply playing a role in a drama presented just for us in order to grow spiritually, to see something about ourselves that we can't see on our own, and remember that at our very core is love.  An enemy is simply another "form" of a friend.