WELCOME

The intention of this site is to provide women who happen to be mothers, grandmothers, aunts, guardians, and mentors spiritual insight and education in growing as a spiritual being. Practical tools and suggestions for growing spiritually, thoughts on how to deepen your relationship with God, along with prayers and devotions to help you along the journey, are provided on a weekly basis. Whether you already have a rich and fulfilling spiritual life, or you are just investigating how to be in relationship with our Great Creator, this is the place to enhance your spiritual well-being and transform your life.







Topics Susie Has Addressed

Topics Susie Has Addressed:

Becoming a Spiritually Fit Mom


The Family Home as the First Church

Praying Together as a Family 101

Eve, the First Mother, Creating Paradise in the Home

Women in the Bible and their Impact on Mothering

Committing to Forgiveness, the Cornerstone of Family Life

Light, Love, and Miracles - Reflections on the spiritual message of the dramatic Rescue of the Chilean Coal Miner's

The Prodigal Mother, Coming Home to Feast

Religion and Spirituality, Differences and Similarities and Their Impact On Our Families

Lessons In Change and Transformation

The Last Seven Statements of Christ, A Path to Love

Creating and Writing Your Own Prayers

Jesus, Man of Prayer and Teacher of Love

Simple Meditation for Busy Mothers

Practicing the Common Sense of God in Your Homes

Healing the Mother-Heart One Prayer at a Time


For information on these and other topics, Susie can be reached at 417-599-2388 Speaking fees are negotiable. References can be provided.















Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mary, Elizabeth, and a Bridge

Just the other day,  Olivia and I were looking at a book with the theme of learning what the word “opposite” means.  A messy bedroom was shown and then you lift the little flap and under it you see a clean bedroom.  And on the next page, an empty nest was compared to a full nest of baby birds.  We had quite the little discussion about opposites in the house… big glasses and small glasses and tall people and short people.  Olivia has become very observant and loves to point out the opposites that are around us all the time.

As we have been attentive to the stories we have become so familiar with during the season of  Advent, it became very clear to me just how many opposites are involved in our praying and our imagery during this special season.  Of course we hear about the children of darkness walking as new people of the light.  And the list goes on and on…sin and redemption,  despair and hope,  judgment and forgiveness, hate and love.  The opposites are really quite striking.  Mary’s Magnificat is a beautiful account of the opposites that make up our spirit- experiences.  In this prayer, which is  Mary’s response to Elizabeth’s greeting, we find a broad spectrum of human emotion and the state of mind and soul.  Mary speaks of the lowly being uplifted, the proud being humbled,  the hungry  made full, and the rich leaving emptied. 

Advent is the season that highlights and calls our attention to both the opposites we live from, and the beliefs that grow from those opposites. Advent is the season to acknowledge that sometimes the opposites in our spiritual/religious lives are not working, and we needed a savior, because we have been taught that what is wrong about our lives needs to be made right.  So how does one move the world from darkness to light, from sin to redemption, from hatred to love, from war to peace, from death to resurrection, and from separateness to oneness with God and all things.  There is a bridge that has to be constructed, and walked upon, in order to move through what it is we’ve been comfortable and familiar with, to a new way of being with God and a new way of seeing life.  Jesus became that Bridge Builder, the architect of laying out a new and stronger path, over swift and dark waters, from the side of life that wasn’t, and isn’t, working, to the other side of life that we’ve been promised will work for all people. He came to rescue us from the disaster in the Garden of Eden, and has promised to take our hand, and bring us to the bridge and show us how to walk, one step at a time over that bridge, to a New Garden and a Fresh Paradise.  It might be one step forward and two steps back, but he shows us how to get to the other side. 

   
The term advent embodies new beginnings. Jesus came to help us find our way to the bridge and to start moving toward a new beginning in mind and heart.  What we think is what will build a solid bridge, and how we feel, is what will move us step by step across that bridge.  Jesus came to help us see what prevents us from coming to the bridge in the first place. He knows that what we think and what we believe is what causes us to be afraid, and being afraid is what keeps us from taking the risk to step onto that bridge. Mary was afraid of the bridge.  When the angel announced to her that she would bring into the world the child that would gather all people around the bridge, she felt fear. I’m sure she questioned what would people think and say about her.  She must have felt lonely and wondered who would support her.  She must have feared that Joseph wouldn’t be there for her.  These are the same fears that keep us from the bridge we need to cross if this world is ever going to change.  What will people think? Who will support me in the things I need to do to change my life. Will I be left to stand alone at the bridge? Will I look crazy if I do what I know in my heart is right?  When we can identify that darkness, we can raise our foot in confidence and take the first step on the bridge and walk toward the other side where there is nothing but light.   Every bridge we have to cross begins with understanding what it is we’re afraid of.  Until we can name that fear, the bridge will appear to be wobbly, worn, and too weak to carry the weight of our emotions.

When Elizabeth greeted Mary, she was really saying to Mary,  Come with me!  I’ll take you to the bridge!  I’ve walked over to the other side and so can you! I am here to walk over that bridge with you. Not only are we going to make it across the bridge, we will help others do the same.  Mary’s response was one of thanksgiving that someone else was there who could understand how hard it is to take that first step, how hard it is to believe that you will see the other side: 

My soul loves you, God,
and my mind and my heart are devoted  to serving only You.
For you have set me at the foot
of a new and holy bridge that I am determined to cross no matter what.
My spirit is so thankful.  My spirit is so happy. My spirit is so content
that I don’t have to do this alone!
For you have always done the perfect thing for me, God!
 You have built a strong, safe, and sound bridge
from my thinking to my feelings,
and the life and the energy and the love that is growing inside me will
teach all people of every generation
to move from a garden of separation to a paradise of oneness,
with You and all people.
The proud will feel humbled by what they thought they knew
and believed about You.
The rich will feel emptied of the darkness
that possesses them, so they can be filled with every truth.
And a thousand hungry hearts will be filled with a deep and profound love.
God has helped Abraham and Sarah cross over the bridge.
God has helped Ruth and Naomi cross over the bridge.
God has helped Moses and Isaac and Jacob cross over the bridge,
and God has helped, you, Elizabeth, and
God has promised to help me cross the bridge of yesterday’s thinking and over
to the side of a love that works, a love that changes what is wrong, and a love
that binds my heart to yours.
Because of God’s belief in us,
we will move from the side of apathy to the side of action.
We will move from the side of hatred to the side of love.
We will move from the side of "some people" to the side of "all people".
We will move from the side of stagnancy to the side of change and evolution.
We will move from the side of division to the side of unity.
We will move from the side of "me" to the side of "we".
We will move from the side of "I can't" to the side of "I must".

Can you feel it Elizabeth?  Can you feel God leaping in you?
Can you feel love growing, expanding,and stretching you?
Because I can.  We all can.
 Can you feel the other side?
I do, and it feels right. It feels like home.

Advent is the season to notice that two women, God, and the promise of theOne Who Would Build Bridges, could create an earth-heaven.  Inside these women was the earth-heaven we are called to create.  If we are ever going to know real peace, real happiness, and real harmony, we must refuse to see earth and heaven as separate. We all have a powerful part in building that bridge, and bringing absolutely everyone from the side of "smallness" to the side of "Greatness". 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Advent Virginity

This is the time of year that our focus shifts to a woman named Mary, and the title Virgin that precedes her name is emphasized during the season of Advent.  I think we all get a little squirmish about that description, because let’s face it, we hear the word virgin, and we immediately think of the that three letter word s-e-x.  Advent after Advent, we are amazed that this “Virgin” could have given birth to a baby that was not conceived in the typical fashion.  In order to really understand spiritual virginity, we must be willing to cast our nets into the deeper waters of scripture, past the shallow surface, and lowered down into waters that fill our net-minds with food-thoughts that fill our hunger and need for rich and abundant insight. Mary’s virginity is our virginity, and it has nothing to do with the act of sex, or not having sex, but has everything to do with emptiness, openness, and willingness.   Mary emptied herself of every belief that wasn’t of God so she could be filled with God’s thinking, God’s activity, and God’s desire to have her feel loved, so that she could be the deliverer of love to a world desperate to feel it. Mary’s virginity was a state of mind, a state of being, a state of soul, a state of spirit, that allowed her to be touched only by the thoughts and creations of God. Her “pregnancy” had nothing to do with a physical act, but had everything to do with one of the most intimate acts of  spiritual creation ever witnessed that only occurs through the intercourse of God’s thinking with our heart’s feelings and beliefs. The creation of the Christ can only happen in that virgin-state, and Advent is our time to restore, claim, and celebrate our spiritual virginity.  The Christ who would teach us how to empty ourselves of beliefs that aren’t purely of God, open ourselves to the savior created by God and grown in all of us.  All of creation is laboring in the manger of our hearts, for a willingness to be changed by those new beliefs, so we can give birth to a love that will truly change the world.

Each Advent, we wait for our Savior. The world was so looking forward to seeing what this miraculous child could do to change the world. Everyone was eager for world peace.  Everyone wanted hunger and poverty to end.  Everyone ached for a God who would do something to fix our world. Everyone believed themselves to be so bad, that only one person could make them good again.  And then Christmas arrives!  Our Savior is born in manger-hearts all around the world.  The Great Teacher has entered into our lives to help us. Finally! Jesus will fix the world!  The world was ready to sit back and watch the world change. But sitting back and watching wasn’t what Jesus had in mind. As a teacher, I have many memories of teaching children everything they needed to go on to the next grade level.  I taught them everything they needed to know in order to be successful enough to change their grade level, and to be ready for new knowledge.  By the time they were finished with me, they should have been able to teach someone else how to be successful in the grade they have just completed, and maybe more.  Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to my Father.  John 14:12. But occasionally, I would run across the student who couldn’t take ownership of their education. They had the book knowledge and every tool needed to pass the test, but still expected their grade to be handed to them, even though they didn’t participate in the work required.  Their lack of motivation to be a willing participant in making the change to the next grade level held them back.  Most of those students could repeat back to me word for word what was in the textbooks, but because they didn’t apply that knowledge, because they didn’t turn in their work or produce the project they needed to demonstrate that their knowledge level had changed them as a student, they were unable to move forward. After all, learning means we’ve changed, we’ve grown, and we can apply what we’ve learned to our everyday life.  As painful as it is, a teacher can’t do the work for the student. I can’t demonstrate the change that has occurred in the student that only the student is able to demonstrate.  I empowered my student to be able to change grades and move forward in his education, but if I just gave him the grade, if I participated for that student, I would only weaken him and my “self” as a teacher.  I would become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.  The student is dependent upon me for the improvement and progression of his life, and absolutely nothing is gained.  The student that waits on the teacher to do what he should do for himself keeps himself stuck in the same situation. There is no ownership or investment in the future. Nothing is able to change, not the student’s world or the world at large.  As painful as it is, the teacher waits on the student to make the right choice to do what is required, and the student waits for anyone who might be willing to “save” them from failure.  That kind of savior-thinking isn’t good for anyone.  All of us can quote scripture, many of us could write the sermons we will hear during Advent and Christmas, but few of us really demonstrate what we have learned in scripture.  And we still wait for our Savior to act, still believing in the sometimes over-used and misunderstood  term “mystery’ as an excuse for why things aren’t changing. 

This Advent we have to be very careful about how we think of the term Savior. 
We must release our false beliefs about what this word means, become virgin-like as we ask God to empty us of what isn’t working, so that we might become filled with the belief and knowledge with what will work. Advent is a time to seek and feel the intercourse of God’s thinking with our heart’s feelings. Advent is a time to move the light-knowledge we receive in our minds to our heart.  It is time to light up the world with the birth of new thinking, new beliefs, and new actions. We must be open to Jesus, the Teacher, who came to teach us how to do what he did.  He cannot do for us what we should be doing for ourselves and the world.  While we wait for God to act, God is waiting on us to think of salvation differently, so that we can save the world from our beliefs that aren’t producing the results we say we want.  God doesn’t always work in mysterious ways.  He gave us Jesus, the Savior of our wrong thinking and our invalid beliefs, who taught us how to save ourselves from our own willingness to self-destruct, and there is nothing mysterious at all about what Jesus did.  His teachings and his life are not hard to understand, but we have made it hard for ourselves to be changed by our lack of understanding and our denial of new beliefs and new powers that God has blessed all of us with.

There is a Savior-energy in all of us, if we will allow God to impregnate us with its creation, so that we might give birth to the kind of love that propels us into action. The kind of love that makes us willing and joyful participants in saving what is precious to us. The kind of love that moves us from dependency upon one person to do it all, to depending upon the world's collective soul to demonstrate that, finally, we have learned our Advent lesson. We have demonstrated this by our actions, and we are ready to be empowered by a fresh savior-belief that solves all problems.  We have found this new savior-thinking to work for us instead of against us, and we are ready to save, ready to act, ready to work, ready to speak out, ready to move the world into a new age of peace, happiness, and richness of every kind. 

Nothing about Advent makes sense, unless we are willing to be taken to the furthest edges of our beliefs. Our pregnant spirit is heavy with the flesh of new miracles, reverently and wonderfully being knit together in the wombs of our minds and hearts. The real Advent miracle we all wait for is the miraculous birth of a new and bold mindset about what we are all capable of transforming. It is the birth of a new "us" that we await. Advent is a time to reflect on those beliefs about God and life that clearly aren’t doing anything to change our world.  Advent is a season for remembering that what we believe is demonstrated by how we act. Advent is a time to really question those beliefs and change those that are producing the opposite of what it is we say we really desire.  God is with us! God is waiting for us!  We are blessed and favored….chosen to give birth to what will change the world…We may be afraid, but the Holy Spirit will cause us to be strong, empowered, and free. Because nothing is impossible for God, we will conceive of new thoughts, new actions, and new beliefs that will bring peace to everyone. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Apples from the Tree of Life and Love

One of the things I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving was the opportunity for Clare and I, just the two of us, to decorate turkey sugar cookies.  Charles wanted to work out at the Y and he offered to take Nathan and Olivia with him. Thank you, Charles!  I forgot what a gift one-on-one time with each of  my children is.  The cookie recipe we used was my grandmother's recipe.  I had never tried making this recipe before, and although she is gone from our physical presence, I am convinced her love still lives.  As we were icing and carefully placing a chocolate chip for the eye, and candy corn for the feathers, and red hots for the turkey's waddle,  I shared with Clare my memories of cooking with my grandma, all the wonderful dishes she would make for the holidays, and some of the little moments that were special about being with family.  As we were sharing the memories and talking about what kind of woman she was, and what it was like to be her granddaughter, I could see Clare putting all the connections together.  She really got that her great-grandmother was my father's mother, and that is what made her my grandmother.  And she began to figure out that my father had siblings and that is what made them my aunts and uncles.  You could literally "see" the family tree growing not just in her mind, but in her heart.  And I could really sense that Clare felt that she was a part of that tree, and  together we all make up the Tree of Life and Love.  Every limb, the trunk, every branch, every leaf, every ring, a new generation. She got that she was part of something larger, something beyond her, something deeper and higher that has touched her, and formed her, and made her who she is. As we finished the cookies, she was asking more questions about death, and what I believed about death. I told her what my thoughts were, and that I believed that even though people leave their bodies behind, everything about them remains alive.  I shared with Clare one of my last conversations with my grandmother by phone.  My grandmother kept repeating that she would never forget me and that she would always be there.  I tried to explain to her that the parts of us that are forever are the way she loved us, the wonderful things she taught us, and the fun we had together.  I also shared with Clare that I believe that the people that have gone before us are still with us, and that when we suddenly think of them, or remember something about them, that is their way of reminding us that they are near to us.

After we finished the cookies, we moved on to the stuffing recipe that Grandma used to make.  We got all the ingredients, and as I was about to finish preparing the stuffing,  Clare excused herself to go to the restroom.  I was just about to put the celery and onion mixture into the bread crumbs, and I heard my Grandma say You forgot the apples!  Sure enough.  I totally forgot about the apples!  Clare came back and I told her I had forgotten to put in the apples.  Immediately Clare said, Mom, Olivia ate the last apple! Now what are we going to do!  Wondering which store might be open to buy some apples,  I went into the refrigerator to put the eggs away and noticed a container shoved to the back.  A container with small packages of apples already peeled.  They were the little individual servings of apples that I put in the kid's lunch boxes.  Grab a scissors, Clare, and start opening the bags. We have apples! Thanks, Grandma!

The holidays can be a time when our grief becomes heightened, and our awareness of loss feels more intense.  The season of Christmas is all about celebrating love, and we want to have all of our loved ones with us. It can feel as if the Tree of Life and Love is missing a very significant branch.  We still long to hand a present to the loved one who now takes a place in the Larger Tree of Life and Love.  We want to hold them close and whisper Merry Christmas in their ear.  We want to sing our favorite carols with them. We want to sit with them at the Christmas church service, and hold their hand as we pray the Lord's Prayer. We want to sit down at the table and eat the turkey and mashed potatoes and ask them to please pass the stuffing.  We want to listen to their bad jokes and give them a hard time about their football team that lost the big game.  We simply want them with us.

As I was going back through my journals in preparation for my next book, I found an entry from another time in my life when I was struggling with the loss of my father, whose passing from this world was December 7th, 1987.  In the entry,  I literally ask God to tell me about death and this was the response I got.

I really don't have to tell you, Susie. You are living it, experiencing it, and deep inside you, you already know. You've simply forgotten.   There is nothing secretive or mysterious about it.  People have created and maintained a fearful. mysterious "idea" about death.  People fear it because of their deep and natural attachment to a spirit's physical body.  Leaving behind a physical body only seems fearful, unnatural, and frightening because people have forgotten that death is a beautifully ordinary, yet a  magnificent, loving act.  It is as joyful to die as it is to be born.  You must think of your spirit as larger, stronger, and more pronounced than the body. Your spirit can never die. It is forever. It is pure love, and love lives forever.  Your spirit takes on the form of a body in order to learn how to love deeper, more fully, and more effectively. Your spirit takes on a body in order to learn how to love everyone.   Shedding the physical form of a body feels as normal as removing your coat.  If you've ever been caught in a downpour of rain with no protection, and you were wearing jeans, you know how heavy those soaked jeans feel.  Taking off those jeans is a relief and wearing dry jeans makes you feel light and warm again.  Death is just like this.  It is a relief.  It is warm.  It is light. It feels comfortable.  And you feel "right" again.  There is nothing final about death.  There is nothing fearful about death.  There is nothing unloving at all about death.

Watching a baby come into the world is the same as watching someone leave this world.  It is a happy, joyful occasion, a time to celebrate, shed tears and embrace a new future.  Just as a body labors to bring a new life into the world, a body also labors to release our spirit into a new world, fresh possibilities, and untouched adventures.  When a loved one dies, they don't "go to a place outside themselves".  They simply arrive in a place that already exists within them.  There is a world inside us that is already peaceful, without pain, empty of all fear, full of the brightest light, and the purest form of love. Immediately, you are ushered into the fullness of healing. Human beings are so used to looking "up" to heaven.  Death is an act of remembering to look "in" , a remembering of who you already are.  Death is simply a change of focus, from focusing on our body, to being fully present and focused upon, and fully embracing, love and contentment.  No one has to die to get "there". No one has to earn "there".  You are there everyday of your life. When you die, you are made "more" of who you are...and your "more-ness" is change and happiness.  Beneath the weight of grief for the physical presence of your loved ones, lies the light-ness and the more-ness of happiness.  Whenever you cry tears for your loved one, those tears dissolve everything in your relationship that isn't real,which is the body, and the parts of you that aren't me, until all that remains is happiness and love. Bodies are temporary, happiness and love are not.  Death doesn't separate.  Death doesn't part anyone from us. Death doesn't honor time. Death does not bow before the altar of age.  The body absorbs the cold and the lifeless parts of us so the spirit can rise, warm, safe, and alive.  Death doesn't have to end communication, but simply changes the way in which we do it with each other.  You don't have to look up when you think of a loved one who is no longer with you in bodily form.  Look around, listen for their whispers, feel them lay a hand on your shoulder.  You can be as eager to die as you are to live.  You don't go toward the light, the light flows more fully through you as you leave the denseness of the body behind. Watch an ice cube melt.  Hold it right out of the freezer, cold and with a definite, rigid shape.  As the warmth melts it, it has changed into something new, and yet still recognizable.  What you learned to do with ice now becomes an opportunity to learn what you can do with warm water.  Drink the warm, soothing waters of death in. Wash yourself in its resurrection.  Feel it clean your mind of what this "friend of life" isn't. Follow its wave into paradise and become aware of its clarity. See your reflection in its ebb and flow and recognize Me, your Creator. Recognize you, the Created. The Tree of Life and Love grows near its shores. Let my light change the muddied waters of what you thought death was. Pray to understand and accept new thoughts about life and death.  The way light changes under water is responsible for the under water atmosphere and it offers creative possibilities not found on land. (from seafriends.org)

Now I know why I didn't forget the apples.  My grandmother is still a living part of the Tree of Life and Love. And that tree still remains, and will always remain, even in death, and both my grandmother and I still sit in its shade, still admire its beauty, still reside there together, and eat its fruit. It is the Tree of Life and Love that gives what we need, even apples that come in a bag.  The death of a body offers us creative possibilities of communication, guidance, and love that we couldn't learn while physically together.  Everything that I have taught myself in the past about death probably isn't right.  And I must let God undo what I have done.  Death cannot undo love.  Death cannot unravel the golden cords of happiness.

Whoever you might be missing this holiday season, trust that they are with you. See their faces and feel their presence around your Christmas Tree, the Tree of Life and Love.  Let the gentle breezes blow in and around the branches of your memories, stirring up the longings of your heart. Wrap your tree in the holy garlands of fresh knowledge and truth about the friend of life that death is.  Let the winds move your thoughts in a new direction and raise you up on a fresh path.   Feel its lights warm your inner self as they shine upon you in the spaces between its green-ness. 

Written in loving memory of those resting beneath the Tree of Life and Love  Richard Heavican, Martin and Bernice Heavican, Ed and Marie Prokes, John Augustine, Norma Uhlik

Monday, November 14, 2011

Holiday Traditions....allowing them to breathe, expand, and bless our lives

This time of year,  as the holiday season begins to take shape, our planning every detail takes on new life, and the lists of things we need to get done begins to grow, it is easy to forget the simple things... like the laughter and excitement a child expresses as they count down the days till Santa comes. Or remembering to share what you are thankful for as you gather to eat the turkey and dressing.  The sheer delight of baking and cutting out sugar cookies, and the fun of tasting the cookie dough,  attending holiday programs and singing your favorite hymns at church can be lost to the time, effort, and planning that the holiday season requires of us. My oldest child is perfecting her Christmas list, she has been chosen to sing a solo in her class holiday program, and she is already counting down the days till winter break.  Many of the things we do are because of traditions that have been handed down through the generations.  Whether it is the food you serve, when you open gifts, what church service you attend, or the way in which you decorate a tree, all are born from tradition, and tradition has, at its very foundation, love.  You take certain actions and do things in a certain way because you love doing them and the people you do them for.

As we approach the holiday season, one of the things that we do to honor these special seasons is to follow, create, and participate in family traditions.  Family traditions around the holiday season serve many purposes. They are created out of belief, need, and building community. We believe in living out the faith we have inherited, and so we celebrate our need and dependence upon God through various expressions of that faith.  The belief and need to come together as family and friends, and share the gift of love with those around us, are all elements of tradition. Traditions are those actions that are manifested from the heart's desire to express those beliefs and demonstrate that they are something special to a family or a group of people. Traditions emphasize what is important to the heart and soul and turn ordinary actions into something a little more formal, beautiful, and sacred.  Traditions come in all types, shapes, and sizes.  They range from something especially simple to something that contains much detail, organization, and planning.  Traditions are sometimes taken for granted, and we are often unaware of their power and their ability to bring people closer together, but if we are not careful, they also have the power to divide, promote separation, and prevent our growing, both in mind and spirit.  While some traditions may be religious in nature, they are never secular when it comes to their ability to impact the heart. 

Around the holidays, traditions are practiced at an all-time high.  They are the things we do both in remembrance of, and loyalty to, our religion, families, and friends. And  although keeping and setting traditions can be fun-filled and joyful,  they can also be the cause of arguments, tears, and stress.  For some people there is much tension between what has always been done and the need or desire to try something new.  Traditions carry a history and a loyalty to the past and they often represent the love of ancestors and past generations, and when there is a need, or a desire, to break with tradition, it can feel like you are casting away something beloved and cherished.   When someone in the family brings up new ideas about how to live out a tradition, sometimes the people that have carried on that same tradition for years have a tendency to take it personally.  They can be so bound to the tradition that they feel rejected, and that what they have done faithfully for many years, now seems unimportant, not good enough, and even "less than" the new ideas presented.  Breaking with tradition can become the catalyst for family feuds, the cause of pointless competition, and an excuse, and even permission, to judge the people involved.  The very reason we celebrate a religious holiday, now has moved the people involved further and further away from the message of the season, which is love. We have become the opposite of what we intended to celebrate.

Sometimes the language we use when it comes to tradition becomes the barrier to respecting the thoughts of others.  Instead of using the phrase breaking with tradition,  we need to change our thinking to building and adding on to tradition.  Just the term "breaking" has a very negative connotation and even has the undertones of "being angry with" what has been done.  When you break away from something, you separate and divide, which is the last thing any family needs around the holiday season.  Just by replacing the word "breaking" with "building onto"  can change everyone's outlook.  Building onto what has worked and what is loved sheds a much more positive light onto the tradition in question.  Building onto a tradition improves it and it includes instead of excludes.  Building onto a tradition means discerning all the parts of the tradition that are good and multiplying that goodness,usefulness, and effectiveness of the tradition that is being examined.  When looking at changing how traditions are carried out,  everyone involved must see the tradition as being transformed and expanded upon, instead of seen as changed, done away with, and diminished.  When creating new traditions, often the people that created them in the beginning feel threatened by doing something new.  Traditions are a place of comfort, stability, and certainty.  Traditions hold a consistency that  an ever-changing world does not.  No matter what, we can count on our traditions to soothe us, make us feel peaceful, and we can count on them always being there for us.  So when something new is suggested when it comes to traditions, it "rocks their world".  People do not like to be removed from their comfort zones and everything familiar. 

For many generations, tradition is law.  Traditions are kept at all costs.  Traditions are what says "we are family".  This is who we are, and what we are about. I lived in this tradition and I did just fine by it, so they must too.  But as people grow, change, and evolve, re-evaluating traditions, and allowing them to grow, change, and evolve must happen if the foundation of a tradition is going to be kept, which is love.  We must live from a new mindset of how traditions are formed, what they mean, and how we live them out going forward.  If traditions are to be set in stone, and never expanded upon, then our hearts become set in stone and love cannot be expanded and grown there.  When the very foundation of a tradition is built on love, is created to give love, and is designed to serve and build up a community of people in love, then keeping a tradition at all costs winds up costing us the chance to experience and feel the fullest expression of love in a new way. 

If you've always kept the tradition of eating dinner on Christmas Eve at your house, but because of jobs, families with small children, the cost of traveling, and location,  maybe having Christmas Eve dinner at your sister-in-laws house is worth it, if it means more family members can attend, the decrease in stress means more happy people, and it also might mean getting to spend more time together rather than less time.  The location of the Christmas Eve dinner might change, but the reason for gathering together didn't, which is love and family, and the importance of being together.  The reason for Christmas Eve dinner is not so one family always has dinner at a certain location year after year, it is so we can break bread together, spend time loving one another, and sharing life together, through conversation, a glass of wine, and maybe watching a game together. If you've always kept the tradition of exchanging gifts with everyone, but there are family members who find it too costly,too impractical and too materialistic,  maybe building on that tradition is necessary.  Instead of exchanging gifts among each other, maybe your family decides to give a charitable donation, or maybe you put a dollar limit on the gifts exchanged and then use the rest of the money to feed a needy family during the holiday season.  The basic tradition of gift-giving is still kept, but now it has been expanded on through giving to someone outside your family who needs it even more than you. 

 Younger families that desire creating brand new traditions need to be respected and honored as well.  They may love the traditions they grew up on, but they will have their own individual way of expressing love through their own traditions that are unique to the family that they have created. The creation of new traditions binds a young, growing family together, and creates a sense of belonging and oneness with each other.  It can be hard for a newly married couple to choose and carry out traditions from both families of origin.  What was done in one family, may be something completely different, and not meaningful, to your experience.  This is when listening to why the tradition is important to the other person is key.  Understanding the context and meaning of the tradition is crucial in order for compromise to occur.  We all attach meaning and significance to our traditions, and what means something very important to you, may have no meaning at all to someone else.  Blending different elements of the two traditions might be the solution.

When it comes to creating and carrying out your traditions, it is important not to overdo it.  If too many traditions are planned, the pressure to follow through can cause even more stress in an already stressful season.  It is much better to really put your heart into a couple of traditions...savoring them and enjoying what they bring to your family.  Take your time planning them, preparing for them, and living them out, rather than filling up your schedule with many traditions that become diluted and watered down because of lack of time to plan and properly carry them out.  Sit down at the beginning of the holiday season and, with your family, talk about the traditions that you love and that you really enjoy doing.   Make adjustments if necessary.  Take into consideration the age-appropriateness of the tradition and everyone's attention span and ability to participate.  Alternate traditions if necessary.  Maybe this year, you will sing two Christmas carols instead of four around the piano.  If it has always been the tradition to attend midnight church services, but now you have small children, maybe you can attend an earlier more family-oriented service. 

Traditions are meant to be fluid, organic, and flexible. They hold, release, give energy, and bless what we do in our lives, and they need room to "breathe", expand, and "grow" just as the people involved grow and evolve. Traditions should be questioned, discussed, examined, and improved upon. Allow yourself and your family a year to "experiment" with a tradition so that you can better articulate and understand what the tradition means to you and the purpose it served.  Otherwise they dictate, demand,  become rigid, and support the status quo.  Traditions that aren't allowed to be built upon and expand, are no longer traditions, they are a rule to follow, and those who don't follow the rule often feel anything but included and needed in the living out of the tradition. Traditions that become rules only grow fear... fear of hurting someone, fear of losing something you thought you possessed, and fear of reflecting on what you thought you knew.   Holiday traditions can be joyful and prayerful, meaningful and fun, flexible, yet comfortable and familiar.  They are a way to feel God's presence, experience God's joy, and taste the happiness God wants you to have in your life.  Traditions strengthen faith and create community.  Traditions are a vital part of our lives, at the holidays and year-round.  They are not just for churches, colleges and formal institutions.  They are foundational to our sense of belonging, and even if the activity seems secular, at its very core, they are divinely led and inspired.

Take the time this holiday season to be intentional with your traditions and reflect on why you are doing them and what they mean to your family.  Love what works, and expand on what doesn't. Remember the reason for the season, and take the time to step back and enjoy what is happening around you and experience the deeper meaning of what is happening to you, and for you, as you participate in the traditions of the season.  Be awakened by the magic and alert to the laughter of God as you share time with each other, doing the things you love!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Festival of the Harvest

Olivia has been very curious the past couple of weeks about farm-life.  She is very curious about what her Uncle Doug and Aunt Sandy do on the farm.  She wants to know what kind of animals are there and what you do on a farm.  We have had many conversations about my childhood on the farm and what it was like growing up on a farm.  We've looked at pictures of combines, tractors, and cows, and I can see her trying to fit this into her scope of experience here in the city. 

I always loved the season of autumn on the farm.  As the trees transformed right before our eyes, I was also aware that the fields that lined our countryside were transformed as well. Empty fields that were once just soil are now full of corn or soybeans or maybe wheat or other crops, and soon they will be emptied again and be made ready to receive new seeds. This is the season of harvest and abundance, and although I don't live on a farm anymore, the farm where I spent my childhood still remains in me.  I have many childhood memories of riding with my dad in the combine, watching the corn move from a stalk in the fields, to grain bens, to auger, and into the trucks where it was ready to be taken to a grain elevator or stored in a drying ben.  I remember my dad trying to finish up the harvest before the snowstorm hit, and sometimes the snow fell before he could finish.  Some harvests went smoothly and others not so smooth- combines break down, it rains too much and the fields are too muddy for a combine to be in.  Accidents happen and repairs take up precious field time.  Late nights, early mornings, and long days all blur together when you are trying to beat the clock of mother nature hoping to bring in a rich harvest.

I was privileged to have the experience, both physically and spiritually, of growing up on a farm.  Farmers are truly the saints no one talks about or celebrates.  They are the holy people that are never going to be recognized by a group of religious people who set the standards and requirements of sainthood.  There is never a day set aside to recognize the men and women who literally feed the world.  Farmers have a trust in God that is beyond the scope of our comprehension. These days keeping the family farm in business requires the mind and heart of a saint that many of us can't begin to absorb.  Every year the farmer takes what looks like impossible odds for raising a crop,  and makes it possible and even seem easy.  Farmers wrote the book on "letting go and letting God".  From planting to harvesting, weather, markets, high fuel prices,  expensive machinery,  costly repairs , government requirements, bank loans, and high debt would make anyone choose any other occupation that wasn't farming.  But farmers farm because they love it. In fact I think many would say farming chose them. It is more than just land.  More than a job, it is a way of life that not only feeds the world, but feeds their hearts.  They love the world through the food they deliver to the rest of the world. We shop in grocery stores because of the grain farmer, the dairy farmer, and the cattle rancher.  Most farmers wouldn't see it as a ministry, but that is exactly what it is. And very quietly, without much fanfare, they participate in the festival of the harvest as they prepare their combines, get their trucks ready to haul grain, and even begin to plan for the next spring.

All we have to do is listen to the gospel to know that what was true when Jesus was alive is still true today, even with all the modern technology available to farmers.  Every spring a farmer demonstrates the gospel law of sowing and reaping.  I can still hear my dad ripping open bags of seedcorn and pouring them into the planter boxes.  I can still see my dad's tractor and planter moving through the fields planting every last seed with the expectation that what he planted would grow into a plant that could be harvested in the fall.  The seed looks like just a seed, but within that seed lives the entire plant. That seed already contains the roots, stalk, the leaves, the husks, the cob, and the silk of a corn plant.  You wouldn't plant a soybean if you really wanted corn.  You would plant a seed of corn to get a plant with cobs of  corn to be harvested.  The same is true for us.  There is a farmer in every one of us.  Our minds and our hearts are the fertile soil where God thinks through us and creates through us.  The seeds are our thoughts that eventually create something, and are harvested  to feed the world.  When I was decided to be a teacher,  the thought of becoming an elementary teacher was the seed planted in the soil of my heart and mind.  That thought-seed contained everything that would grow me into becoming a teacher.  The college courses I would take, the money I needed to attend college, the love and desire to teach, the diploma that would hang on my wall, the books, materials, and teachers I would need to learn from, and finally the first teaching position and then the money I would receive for my work as a teacher. That one seed contained both the desire to become a teacher and the manifestation of a diploma to teach and the classroom where I would teach and plant seeds of knowledge. Like the farmer, I had setbacks, complications, unexpected twists and turns on the journey to harvest, but the harvest was full, and I was able to share that harvest with colleagues, students, and so many other people.  Because the money I made from that thought-seed blessed me and those I shared it with- charities, birthday presents, or buying someone else's lunch. It becomes very clear that one little seed can change an entire world.

Everything that the Great Farmer creates through us begins with a thought that manifests itself into a physical form.  I vividly remember digging a well for irrigation on our family farm.  I can still see it.  I remember watching from my bedroom window the team of men that dug deep into soil to find water that would eventually irrigate the crops when rain wouldn't come.  An irrigation well to water crops in times of drought is nothing short of miraculous.  Like the farmer, sometimes we have to take the risk of digging deep to find the miracle we need.  Well-water was the assurance that there would always be a harvest.  Well-water meant that there was no more worry of how the crop would make it through a drought.  Well-water increases the value of the land, increases the amount of crop you will harvest, and therefore increases food and other products that the world needs.  The deeper you are able to go into the well of your heart and mind, the greater the harvest.  Well-water removed many limitations that a farmer might otherwise have to deal with.  When the farmer inside us is willing to dig a little deeper into our belief, our faith, and our imagination, the impossible becomes possible.  And the water we pour over our seeds, and the rain we pray for, is our belief in the harvest.  It is our faith in a God who will see us through every season.  It is our expectation that what has been planted in our hearts and minds will grow, produce, and will be multiplied in order to feed a hungry world.

Growing up on a farm that planted soybeans meant that when I was old enough, I would "walk beans".  Every bean field needed to have its weeds removed so the beans would produce even more seed.  Weeds take up water, soil, and energy that the bean plants need in order to thrive.  It was necessary for a farmer to hire a crew of bean walkers, give them their sharpened knives and walk through every row of beans, removing every last weed.  I have memories of mud, blisters, sunburns, and being the only girl in a crew of boys walking beans.  I have memories of going out in the heavy dew of the morning and coming out soaked, but I had a clean row of beans to show for it, not to mention a paycheck.  In the fields of our heart and minds, it is necessary that the weeds of our thinking and feeling be removed, if our thoughts, given by God, are going to manifest the miraculous.  Weeds that need pulling are doubt, lack, negativity, complaint, judgment, fear, and self-pity.  They are the milk-weeds, the sunflowers, and the volunteer corn that cause an otherwise beautiful, flourishing crop to look dirty and unproductive.  If you have a thought-seed(desire and need) to lose weight, but you have weeds taking up space in that field of thinking....doubt that you'll be able to follow through, lack of love for your body as it is, fear that you'll fail, negativity about the foods you can't eat, and fear at looking at your emotional issues of why you eat... you will not reap a harvest of weight loss.  You might lose a couple of pounds, but you won't see the number on the scale that you really desire because you let the weeds grow and take up space and energy in your heart where the seed was planted.  Every farmer knows the damage weeds can do to a crop. It is not good enough to just cut off the top of the weed.  You must pull the weed out by its roots so it can never take up space again.  Discovering the root cause of our wrong-thinking is as essential as pulling a weed out by the roots so we can taste the harvest.

One of the things my dad loved to do, when time permitted, was to get in the pickup and go for a drive around the countryside to look at the crops.  My brother and I, and sometimes our dog, would sit in the back of the pickup, and with the wind blowing through our hair we would drive and look at the fields.  At the time, I didn't really quite understand why we did this.  I just knew it was fun and usually we would end up in town and we might get an ice cream cone or a rootbeer float.  Farmers know that it is important to step back, slow down, and take in all the growth, the pristine bean fields, and envision the promise of the harvest to come.  Farmers know that it is necessary to see what has already been accomplished and done. Every stage of growth is to be celebrated.  Every row planted, that whizzes by while driving on the road next to the field, holds the promise of an abundant future, the potential for more growth, and greater and larger possibilities. 

With so much being "out of a farmer's control",  I believe that farmers understand God at a level that surpasses many of us.  A farmer's dependency upon God is what has made them saintly.  It is God that sees them through hail, drought, flood, and tornadoes.  It is God that brings money into their hands where there was no more money to be had.  It is God that provides the land, the man-power, the technology, the equipment, and just the right people at just the right time to make it all happen.  It is God who planted a thought-seed of a combine that could be run by computer and GPS to ease up on the physical labor a farmer used to have to endure.  It is God that protects the crops and protects the farmer from accident and physical harm.  It is God who feeds the world through the family farm.  It is God who provides the energy, strength, and physical endurance a farmer needs to work long hours.

Farmers are ordained land-priests who preside over the Table of Plenty that this country and the rest of the world depends upon for sustenance.  They may not wear stoles, collars, or chasubles as an outward sign of their ministry, but the holy robes they wear are the flannel shirt, the John Deere cap, and their blue jeans. Their altars are the very fields that they come to season after season with seed, plow, planter, and combine. Their chalices are the storage bens, trains, and trucks filled with grain that will move through the rest of the world.  From their temple- fields they teach and proclaim that the harvest is great, but the workers are few.  There is much to be gained in properly prepared soil,  the planting of the right type of seed, and harvesting your crop at just the right time, but not everyone is willing to actually move from knowing to doing.  Not everyone is prepared to really hear what God is saying and then change their lives so that they bear more fruit.  Not everyone is willing to risk following their heart so that they might reap the harvest of what it is calling you to do.  Not everyone is willing to let go of their need to cling to  fear in order to feel the harvest of giving and receiving love. 

In this season of harvest, remember to thank a farmer.  They are sign and symbol of the under-celebrated and forgotten sacrament of sowing and reaping.  They are the sages of seeds, planting, harvesting, and giving. They love a life that we take for granted. They love God humbly, silently, deeply, and in their own profound way.  They are the present-day gospel writers, men and women who have devoted their lives to the land.  They are the saints of fertile soil and the holy harvesters of abundance whose spirits unknowingly teach us how to prepare the soil, how to plant a seed, how to care for it, and grow a field of miracles and answered prayers. They weather every storm, political, financial, and physical, walk on water,( whether it falls from the clouds or not) raise to life what seemed dead, feed the hungry, move grain-mountains, find what has been lost, and part the seas of a rainy season in order to find dry land.  Every neighbor in need is their family...their brother and sister. They carry their cross without complaint, and rise up from every kind of death and grave situation. They are the builders of a kingdom that is always in front of us, but not always recognized as the heaven it is.  They pray in their tractors, their pickups, their machine sheds, and their fields.  Farmers love like saints and live like servants.  They are faithful to the Creator of Seed and Soil, both in poverty and wealth.

In this season of harvest and thanksgiving,  I have to thank my deceased father for the privilege of watching a saint at work.  I have to thank my brother for carrying on his legacy of sowing and reaping.  I have to thank my grandfathers for their holy laboring and the legacy of planting and harvesting that they left me and my children.  My life isn't being lived out on a farm like the one I grew up on, but I am able to "farm" in my own unique way because of their love for farming.  I learned how to plant seeds of love, hope, and faith.  I learned how to care for the soil of my heart.  I learned how to grow miracles of every kind and share what I've harvested with my children, my family, and the rest of the world, both in small and large ways.  I learned a reverence for the earth of our hearts and minds, and am careful to be aware of what  I choose to plant and grow there.  I learned how to work hard, believe big, and have fun while doing it.  I learned who God is, and the sheer power of what God can do because I spent my childhood on a farm. Thank you, Dad!  Thank you, Doug!  Your laboring does not go unnoticed.  May your harvesting always wear the strong crown of abundance and overflow with prosperity of every kind.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Water, Light, and Chrism..living from the strength of baptism

In the role of rector's wife, I've often had conversations with new parents about whether or not to have their baby baptized, or at what age they should baptize their children.  I've seen babies baptized, younger children and teens baptized, and adults who have chosen to live out their relationship with God by the grace of baptism.  Many parents comment that after their baby is born, it feels only natural to come back to church after having been away for awhile, realizing that they need some type of assistance in sharing their faith in God with their child.  Many parents have expressed the need of some type of prayerful ritual, some type of service in which they offer, and thank God, for their child, and that the bringing their child into the world wouldn't be complete without the baptism.  Some baptisms happen at a baptismal font, some near a larger body of water such as a lake or river, and some in pools.  Some religions require classes before baptism, some require evidence of participation in the life of their chosen church, and some have very few requirements.

Why parents choose to have their children baptized is a very personal decision.  When I was born,  you baptized a baby as soon as possible because the theology of those times taught that if a baby died without baptism, they would likely go to hell.  We were taught that we were born of original sin, and that baptism, was the guarantee that your baby could enter heaven's gates despite our sinful nature. In these times, fear was at the core of the need to baptize, and really the opposite of many views of why to have our children baptized.  The age to baptize depends upon your theology and the religion you practice.  Some religions baptize people based on the theology of the need to be "saved" and it is an outward recognition of the need of a savior, the need of a church family to help that person's soul be saved from damnation. In many religions, we baptize because Jesus was baptized by John, and he is the one to model our lives after.  We baptize because Jesus called us to go out and baptize.  We baptize to grow the community of faith and to help people live out their baptismal promises, and to take our place in the royal priesthood of humanity.  And some would say we baptize to make our imperfect selves "perfect".   Some people choose baptism simply out of obligation, the "thing to do" after you've had a child, and simply have no intention, desire, or need to be an active participant in the life of the faith community into which the child has been accepted. They're covering their bases and fulfilling a duty.  Many times it is the request, and the need of the grandparents that their children be baptized. And some people desire the ritual and the tradition of baptism.  It is important to make the entrance of this child into the world ritualized and blessed.  I remember growing up amidst the question of whether to have private baptisms or baptisms within the celebration of the liturgy.  Many people would check their bulletins to make sure they didn't attend a mass time where there was a baptism because they knew it would be a longer service.  And if they didn't check their church's bulletin, and they were surprised by a baptism, they would joke about not doing their "homework".  Baptisms are all about the family and the faith community, and it really makes little sense to baptize without the faith community being involved, and the involvement of the family, in the faith community.  A minister, priest, deacon, or pastor can represent the community, but without the faith community members amongst the witnesses, the whole reason for requesting the sacrament is lost.  The faith community promises to uphold,nurture, and support your child's faith journey.  The faith community is offering its gift of love to the newly baptized, their family, and godparents. The faith community and the family both commit to having a role in the child's faith life.

Baptism is a proclamation to the rest of the faith community that your baby was made by God and because God is only love, your baby is a gift of love, reverently made and given to the faith community and the rest of the world. Born of Original Love, all people fashioned from sheer goodness.  Baptism is not so much a personal, individual sacrament, as it is a person, baby, child, or adult, that is brought into the web of the living and is joined to everyone else in the community and the larger world, and a belief that I am a part of the Larger Web of  Life and how I choose to weave and spin love in this world will connect me to you and widen Life's Eternal Circle.  

Water, of course, is a universal symbol of baptism. Everyone of us was formed inside the waters of our mother's center.  We grew in darkened womb- waters and were born from waters broken and poured out into a new world,  laboring to make a path for the child to move into the light.  The baptismal waters in our fonts are simply an extension of our birthing waters, the first holy water that touched us, held us, and helped us grow, and gave shape to our beauty.  Scripture is rich with holy waters... the parting of the Red Sea, the water that Jesus walked on, stormy waters, the water in the well, the water flowing from the body of Jesus as he was being Crucified, and the waters of the Jordan where Jesus was baptized.  The waters used to baptize call us to recognize that we are a drop of God's ocean, rippling out into the rest of the world.  Baptism is our immersion into the waters of love.  We drink water, we cleanse ourselves with water, and we are made of water.  Baptism is more than the cleansing of sin, more than a drink that quenches the thirst for God in this single moment. It is the faith community's way of saying we will immerse this child in the deepness of God's love today, and till her death.  We will help this child feel loved.  We will help this child understand what love is and what it isn't. With these holy waters, we will sustain this child's truest nature...love.  We will pour our love onto this child's mind and help this child awaken to the power of love and the miracles that result. A power that God has blessed us with, the power that parted the sea, caused a man to walk on water, and filled our wells, our emptiness, with living water. 

Oil, or chrism, is another symbol used in baptisms, and is used to anoint the child's spirit, calling forth her  baptismal priesthood of peace, where the sign of the cross is made, with the oil, upon the child's forehead.  Parents and Godparents are often invited to participate in this anointing, which invokes the blessing of God, our Creator, the Son, our inspired action, and the Spirit, the Giver of all Wisdom, upon the community's royal priesthood, which extends the blessing of God to the child, promising to keep this child on the ordained path of peace.  Having been immersed in the waters of love, the child's spirit, can now be kept in the fullness of peace. This child has been touched with the power to create peace, act in the name of peace, and think the peaceful thought.   And the community promises to be the teachers of a living and real peace, and will lead the child, through the example of their actions, upon a peaceful path.  The oil of priestly peace soothes, calms, and removes all anxious moments and worries the child may experience in life.  The weight of the crosses that the child might bear are lifted and surrendered to God by the strength of a sound and steady peace.  The cross made upon the child's forehead with the oil of peace, strengthens the mind and enters every thought the child will have, instilling in the child that many of the crosses we bear are created in the mind, and it is the promise of the community to enlighten the child's thinking with the peaceful thought and right action.

A candle is given honoring and acknowledging the light of God present in the child.  This child, presented to the community, is light created from light.  And the parents, Godparents, and the faith community promise to uphold the light that this child is, and will be, for the rest of the world. The child feeling loved and kept peaceful will enable that light to be a beacon for all of us.  Giving this baptismal candle to the child and his family celebrates the promise that day always follows the darkness of night.  That the flame of the burning bush is inside this holy child and all of us, and its source of light comes from the holy ground within, where God lives and moves us.  The candle causes us to believe and profess the brilliance of the child's dawning.  The pillar of fire is handed to the child, the family, and all of us who were once baptized in light.  And we profess our faith in Yahweh, the Great Light, the lamp unto this child's feet and this community's path.  The light in this child, with the community's love and support, can never be extinguished because it's source is God.  The child, now having been immersed in love's waters, and anointed in the oil of peace, is now wedded to the eternal light and our own light shines even more brightly because of the light this child shares.

When we attend the baptism of a child, we are not just watching, we are willing participants in the raising of this child's spirit. Godparents are people who are willing to "parent and raise the God-within" the newly baptized.  They are people who promise to pray for the child, to nurture the spirit of the child, and to ensure that this child has everything she needs to grow spiritually.  Having walked in love, peace, and the light of faith themselves, they will pass on their knowledge and experience of God to that child, supporting and guiding the path to inner transformation that they will choose.  They are a light to the child's parents as well, and partners in growing the spirit of the child, praying together that their child will find happiness and spiritual contentment on their journey.  Godparents can play a role in making sure that their godchild follows the greatest commandment ...to love one another as God has loved them.  While baptism is a religious sacrament, it is also a ritual of the spirit, a prayerful ritual that the parents and Godparents promise to see carried out in the future through the life of the church and the broader community of Christians.  When saying yes to being a Godparent, you are saying "Yes!" to how this child will follow the will of God, found in the path that their hearts reveal to them.

The baptismal gown is worn, clothing the child in everything Christ lived and died for.  As the gown is placed on the child, we pray to shed the cloth of our wounds so that we might put on the cloth of resurrection and a new heaven.  Woven into the garments of our new selves is forgiveness, compassion, and healing.  Baptism gives us the gift of hope in that it is God who will provide for our every need, it is God who will make a new world through our acts of charity.

After the child is baptized, sometimes the minister, priest, or pastor, will ask the rest of the congregation to applaud for what just took place in the sacrament.  We applaud the recognition of what this child really is, a holy creation of love, light, and peace.  And we applaud that we are so honored and privileged to bring this child up in a faith community, a religious setting, lived out through the prayerful rituals of the heart.  We applaud their parents choosing to be a part of a faith family and their desire to be involved in the child's faith formation and the raising of a spirit to its highest purpose and potential.  We applaud the Godparents for saying "Yes!" to praying for, and supporting their godchild, as they learn and remember who they really are.  We applaud the fact that we live in this world, but we are not of it.  We are God's child first, and the time we have together fades way too quickly, is extremely rich in spirit, and filled with lessons of how to love one another.

Every time you wash your hands, swim in a pool, step into the foam of a river, or watch for whales in the middle of an ocean, remember your baptismal call to love, to remain strengthened by peace, and to follow the light. When you turn on a faucet and hear the running water, pray for your godchildren, write them a note and remind them that you are praying for their needs, and you are there for them when their faith weakens.  When you bathe your babies, pray that they be immersed  in the waters of love and thank God for their goodness, their beauty, and the gift they are to you and the world.  If you are struggling with whether or not to baptize your child, don't struggle anymore. Why say no to the power of having an entire faith community's support, prayers, and love?   Find a church home, a place where you feel the strength of a prayerful community, and offer your child in the name of love, peace, light, and service.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Casting Our Nets Into the Deep Waters of Our Dreaming

One of the things I love about being a mother is tucking my children in their beds at night.  After reading stories, brushing teeth, and putting our pajamas on, I love praying with them, leaning over to give them a kiss and put their favorite blankets over them.  One of the things I make sure I tell them is how good they are.  No matter what has happened during the day, I want them to go to sleep knowing and believing in their absolute goodness.

Remember the good 'ol days when you could nap when you needed to or go to bed early if  you felt like it - or better yet - sleep in as long as you wanted!  Ahh!  Sweet sleep!  Everyone tells you to learn to sleep when the baby sleeps and then they remind you that you'll never really sleep again after you have children. The statistics are pretty grim when it comes to our sleep habits in this country.  We are lucky if the average person is getting 6 hours of sleep a night. Some people have to work night shifts and sleep during the day.  Many of us fall asleep with televisions on or our computers and phones by our bed.  And then there are your children who wake up because of a bad dream or wet beds or just because they are afraid of the dark. And then there are times when we we simply can't sleep because we can't shut our mind off.  The list of things we have to do keeps us anxious, and winding down from our cares and concerns is difficult.  Even hormones can affect our sleeping habits.  If there is one consistent thing about sleep that we all have in common, it is this.  We all need sleep.  Even God needed to rest after six days of planning, creating, and putting together a beautiful world where everyone can live and prosper in.


Our physical bodies require sleep so that we might be alert, productive, and more loving toward one another. When Olivia was born,  I had no idea what I was in for when it comes to sleep.  You could feed her till you thought her tummy should burst, swaddle her, rock her, and put her down for what should have been a pretty long period of sleep and twenty minutes later she was wiggling out of her blanket and ready to do anything but sleep.  I went for months with sleeping at the most two hours at a time.  I cried and I prayed to God begging for just 4 or 5 hours of straight sleep.  I was so sleep deprived, I didn't know half of the time if I was coming or going.  I was definitely not alert, let alone productive, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't very loving either.  I could have put Oscar the Grouch to shame, once in awhile popping out of my garbage can of crabbiness in an attempt to be social.  In order to keep my sanity and my family from falling apart, I did what I didn't want to do.  Sleep with Olivia.  Desperate times called for desperate measures, and Olivia became my new bunk mate for awhile.  Eventually, she slept.  Eventually, I made it back to our bedroom.  I was so messed up in my sleep habits, it required my doctor undoing what months of not sleeping had done to me just to help my body adjust to sleeping normally again. And now when I put all three kids to bed, there is not a night that does  not go by that I don't thank God for all the hours of sleep( in a row) that I am getting.

Sleep not only serves the purpose of resting and rejuvenating our bodies, but sleep has its purpose for our spirit too.  When we lie down at night and fall asleep, many of us dream.  Much of our dreams we don't remember, but some nights our dreams our very vivid and seem very real.  Some dreams are so fascinating and bizarre that we share the details with other people, wondering why we would have dreamed about something so unexpected.

Until I studied in the spiritual program at Creighton University and participated in monthly, and sometimes weekly spiritual direction, under a person who had completed a degree in Spiritual Direction,  I used to believe that our dreams were separate from our daily life.  I thought that our dreams were just something sort of funny and even entertaining, but not something that reflected who I was as a person, or a textbook of how I was growing spiritually.  Dreaming seemed to be something that I had no control over, something that happened to me, not for me. Our dreaming is of God, and anything that is truly of God is for us, not against us. 

Psalm 16:7 says:  I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me.

This verse describes perfectly our spirit's ability to learn something about ourselves, and God, even while we sleep.  Our bodies may rest, but our spirit enters a new classroom when we dream, and in our dreams, God is our teacher, our guide, our instructor of our inner selves. The things that we remember from our dreams are symbols of our inner life, and reflect to us many things about our soul's journey.  One very common symbol is pregnancy.  I have heard many people say that they dream of being pregnant.  While for some it may be an actual pregnancy, for many others, it is simply a symbol of something new that is coming into being in their lives.  For example,  I had many pregnancy dreams when I was about to start a new teaching job.  Every time I changed schools,  I would see a pattern of pregnancy dreams simply reflecting to me that I was embarking on learning new things about myself from my students and other colleagues.  New situations that arose in my classrooom caused me to be aware of a spiritual lesson - maybe forgiveness, maybe a character trait of mine would rise to the surface, or maybe it was simply a new beginning in a new grade that I had never taught before.  Over my years that I participated in spiritual direction, I learned to write down some of the dreams I had, and as time went on, I could see familiar patterns and symbols of who I was as spirit.

Another example that occurs from time to time in my life are dreams of tornadoes.  Every time we move to a new state or city, I dream about tornadoes and their destruction.  I have moved many times in my life, and tornadoes became a symbol of having to build a new life from scratch.  As  the spouse of a priest, a  move means finding new friends and building new relationships.  It means settling into a new home, finding new doctors, new schools, new babysitters you can trust, and getting to know a new congregation. What seems so easy for people who have never moved can be challenging to the person who has to move often. New grocery stores, new hair stylists, and even a new "culture" to learn.  Everything that I once knew in a previous home is gone. The first year of transition is never easy, emotionally and spiritually.  No matter how smooth a transition goes, that first few months in a new place seems overwhelming, sometimes very empty, and you are definitely building a life from the ground up.  Physical, emotional, and spiritual skills of survival come into play, just as if you really lived through a tornado.

Sometimes, a person will dream the same dream over and over.  God is always trying to teach us something about our inner lives through our dreams.  If you dream the same thing over and over, there is something there, a lesson, a thought, or a soul-insight that you haven't quite gotten yet.  I learned a technique of writing down everything I could remember about my dreams... specific  colors, the way I felt, the people in the dream, and anything else that may have stuck in my mind.  I would then pray with the dream, and ask God to reveal to me what I needed to learn from that dream.  The dominant emotion you felt in that dream can sometimes be the key to unlocking your heart and releasing something that isn't of God.  If fear is the dominant emotion, what is it that you most fear in your life and is causing you anxiety? If peace is the dominant emotion, thank God for that feeling and build upon that peacefulness.  Many spiritual directors encourage putting yourself back in the dream and letting the people in the dream "speak" to you and "tell" you what it is they want you to know.  The story they tell can often lead to solutions to problems or insights about who you are as a person.  Our dreams are a fascinating way to discover who God is, and where God is leading you.

Have you ever told someone that you "needed to sleep on it" before you made a final decision about something?  Have you ever gone to bed unsure about a decision you have to make and then upon waking up the next morning, you seem to be clear about what you should do, or feel reaffirmed in the direction you should go?  While giving our bodies over to rest, we also give our hearts and our minds  to God, and allow Him time at night to re-order our thinking, wash the residue of the day just past, and re-align ourselves with Love's purpose.  At  night, our spirit is freed from the demands of the body and is liberated to move into higher realms to be taught, led, and directed by God.  It is not an accident that we dream the things we do.  As amusing as dreams are, they also take on the more serious business of getting our attention in a way in which we are not always able to give our full attention to during the day.  Once in awhile you will here someone say that they wake up at night for no apparent reason and cannot get back to sleep.  Sometimes that is the only time that God can get through to us.  The middle of the night is when we are least distracted and where real quiet is all around us.  When God needs one on one time with us, that we haven't chosen to give at other times, what we label insomnia, can very often be something deep within us that is begging for our attention.  God's devotion to our happiness never rests.   God will come to us at any hour, day or night, whenever our happiness might be at stake.

Samuel was awakened in the night, hearing his name called.  It was God calling him.  It was God who aroused him from sleep and gave him the invitation to serve him.  "Speak Lord, your servant is listening!"  Our dreams speak to us, invite us, and are always calling us to lead and live from love.  Our dreams hold spiritual solutions to our earthly problems.  Our dreams carry the codes of our spiritual DNA that further explains who God is and who we are as God's beloved.  When we dream, we are carried to places we would not otherwise be able to go as physical beings, and we remember what love is, what love looks like, and even more importantly, what love feels like. Some of us fly in our dreams, some of us see loved ones that have long passed away in our dreams, and some of us travel roads we have never been down with people we wouldn't be found with in our daily routines.  Some dreams take us to foreign lands and we speak languages we've never learned. Other dreams are simple flashes of an image.  There are times when dreams can be informative.  Just before Charles was transferred to Kansas City, I had a dream that his job would offer a transfer there.  When Charles came home and told me of the transfer, I knew that God was preparing me for this next part of our journey, and there was no question that we should go.

Keep a journal near your bed, and just take a minute to jot down what you remember, and when you take time to pray, go back to that journal and allow God to illuminate your mind with the brightness of the stars that watched over you as you slept. As you write down your dreams over time, notice patterns, notice what really strikes you, notice your feelings and what you are thinking.  God will make the connection from mind to heart, just as the stars connect to form the constellations while you sleep.  If you are open,  the light of knowledge will enter your dream-state and be a lamp unto your feet as you travel through your dreams.  There are lots of dream symbol books out there to try, and you can go online and discover what some of the symbols of our dreaming mean.  In the book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, there is a door inisde a closet, that when opened, leads to a completely different world and an unforgettable adventure for the characters.  When we go to sleep at night, it is as if we open that closet door and enter a remarkable adventure of fun, love, mystery, and even danger, with all kinds of spriitual lessons just waiting to reveal themselves to us.

We can compare our dreams to the net that Jesus asked the fisherman to cast even deeper.  Our dreams are the deeper waters in which we heed the call to cast our nets in, as we sleep, and "pull up" an abundance of insights into God, ourselves, what makes us happy, and how we can heal our hurts.  Having taken the time to reflect upon our dreams, we feel the heaviness of our nets, overflowing with love and gratitude. Love for God, love for people, love for who you are in this moment, and who you are becoming.  And we realize that if we had stayed in the shallow waters of our everyday thinking, brushing off such a vital part of God-with-us, we catch nothing.  We end up with empty nets and no "food" to fill our hunger...no "real food" to share with the rest of the world who hungers for loving hearts and peaceful minds. 

Before going to bed, it is important to prepare your heart and mind, and offer them both to God.  Pray for the ability to remember the dreams that will help you grow in your relationship with God.  Pray for a willingness to climb into your boat and sail out into the deep, and with great faith, lower your net upon the waves of your dreaming. And as your dream-tide flows in and out of your sleeping, pray to catch so many thoughts, insights, and directions from God, your net bursts and breaks under the weight and strength of love, spilling over into the morning light and flooding your day with new understanding of your life's purpose.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Perfect Fit

Olivia is at the age where she is completely enchanted with all the "princess type" movies and stories.  Now that Nathan and Clare are in school, it is a huge deal for her to pick what kind of movie she would like to watch without having to negotiate and bargain with Nathan and Clare in order to watch her favorites.  Cinderella is definitely one of those favorites.  She loves the "big dresses" as she calls them.  She loves that Cinderella gets to go to the ball and she finds her prince. She is fascinated with the  stepsisters and how "mean" they are.  Olivia has her own little dress and shoes and she loves to role play and act out the movie on her own. She waves her wand, puts her feet in her dress-up shoes, dawns her pinkest dress and curtsies to her "prince".  Then she twirls and holds out her hand for me take it and we dance together around the living room.  We spin and laugh.  I can still see the twinkle in her eye... still feel her hand in mine.  What could be better than this?

We've watched the movie over and over, and as I've watched it, I have become fascinated with the characters and what they have to teach us about ourselves.  Here is Cinderella, a beautiful young woman, faced with a step-family type situation.  Her stepsisters don't accept her, are jealous of her beautiful looks, and make sure that she is the one that wears the rags and does the "dirty work" around the house.  Sweeping out the chimney, washing the floors, and washing and ironing all of their clothes fill her days.  And then there is the invitation to the ball.  The stepsisters are invited.  Cinderella is not.  And it is Cinderella that prepares the lavish gowns for her stepsisters, all the while wishing that she was the one going to the ball.  She longed to wear a magnificent ball gown and feel what it would be like to dance with the prince.  Cinderella wants to be happy, but her circumstances aren't at all happy. Enter the Fairy Godmother who asks her what is making her so sad.  And as Cinderella explains, the Fairy Godmother announces that she will indeed attend the ball and she will have the most beautiful dress to wear.  She will be able to participate in what her heart has longed for. A pumpkin magically turns into her carriage and mice magically turn into horses that will draw the carriage and deliver her to the big event.  A gorgeous blue gown and glass slippers that cause everyone to notice her changes everything for Cinderella. She has till midnight, and then, her perfect evening is over.

We have all found ourselves in situations that are less-than-perfect.  We have all had to do things, and work at things, that we just didn't want to do.  We all, at one time or another, been taunted, teased, and been disturbed by the voices in our mind that tell us: We simply don't belong here.  You are less than someone else.  You aren't allowed to feel beautiful.  You will never fit in.  Give up on love and happiness because they aren't for you.  There are other plans for your life, and they don't include what you dream about, or long for.  And then something changes in us.  A new thought emerges, a new plan develops, a fresh path is laid before us.

There is a striking similarity between the Fairy Godmother and Cinderella and Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Mary's life was changed dramatically when an angel announced to her that she would bring forth Jesus.  She would give birth to a child who would grow up to teach us how to love and make a happier world.  All Cinderella really wanted was to feel loved and happy, and her Fairy Godmother delivered that message to her.  That she would be able to attend the ball after all.   She would feel beautiful, dance every dance, and eventually, she would find her prince.  The glass slipper that every girl in town tried to "make fit" would only fit her foot.  Mary, many times portrayed in a blue dress and veil, was invited to dance with God.  Her glass slipper was giving birth to the Christ Child.  Everyone before her talked about it.  Prophets knew this time would come and change history, and everyone wondered who would "wear" this glass slipper. Who would be chosen?  And it was Mary.  The most unlikely girl.  The girl who was nothing special. The girl who was young, ordinary, and simple of heart.  Mary was the girl who probably longed to do something special with her life.  In the story of Cinderella, her prince goes after her.  He is bound and determined to find the girl who had worn the glass slipper.  The prince knew this girl was special.  The prince knew in his heart that this girl had to be his forever.  The prince is the symbol of everything that is love and happiness and forever.  God is our happiness and our forever love.  God sought out Mary.  God saw how beautiful and worthy Mary was to be the mother of Jesus.  God found her and ever-so-gently delivered her to The Dance of a Lifetime.  Cinderella rode to the dance in a carriage.  Mary found her way to the dance by following the path of her heart.  Horses delivered Cinderella to the big event.  Faith in God delivered Mary to the single biggest event known to us all.  Giving birth to the one who would lead us to our dance was Mary's glass slipper.  Just as Cinderella's glass slipper eventually found her, ours will too.

The Fairy Godmother that hushed the voices of fear, lack of self-worth, and slavery to a life that was less-than, and called forth everything that Cinderella knew she was, is also a part of us.  The wand that the Fairy Godmother waved in order to change Cinderella's life completely is in our thinking. It is our ability to ride the wave of a true knowledge of who we are in God's eyes.  It is our openness in believing in our own beauty, our own inner strength, and our sound faith that we are worthy of forever love.  Our birthright is our pursuit of happiness, and the right to feel happy.  Mary's wand came in the form of an angel who knew that this young woman was worthy of giving birth to a love the world needed.  Mary allowed the powerful wave of trust to dissolve her fear of the future and wondering how this would be accomplished.  Cinderella humbly wore her beautiful gown to the ball and Mary was humbly draped in the gown of peace and the crown of light.  Cinderella, in her rush to return home on time, left behind her slipper for the prince to find. And eventually the prince with the slipper found her.  Mary, never rushed by the world's time,  left behind, just for us, the ability to allow God to find us.  Just as the slipper found its way back to Cinderella, God has never stopped searching for us.  It is God who has our glass slipper, and it is God who will find us. It is God who will touch our lives with forever love and eternal happiness.  It is God who has the perfect future planned for us.  Our happiest state awaits us.  And we will know that when that glass slipper is eased onto our groundedness, our sure-footedness, and it feels perfect and right, that we have found what God has intended for us all along.  Our own way of giving love to the world.  Our own way of giving birth to what the world desperately needs.

Cinderella found her beauty, discovered her worth, and lived a happy life.  Mary found her beauty, discovered her worth, and lived a happy life raising Jesus, supporting his ministry of love, and watching him rise above all darkness.  You will find your beauty.  You will discover your worth, and you will live a happy life.  Let the slipper return to you when you pray.  Let God find you when you pray.  Let God into your heart when you pray.  Let the carriage of your dreams deliver you to the Great Dance where everyone will see how magnificent you are and where everyone will feel that they were touched by love because they saw you dance with the Prince.  They saw you dance with God.  Don't let too much time slip away when it comes to your dreams, your hopes, and your desires.  Don't wait till the last minute to try something you've always wanted to do.  Don't rush back into a life that you weren't meant to live.  Don't listen to any voice that steals your confidence in who you are and who God has meant you to be.  Whatever will make you happy is what will bring the slipper back to you.  Whatever brings gives to you more than you could possibly give is the "perfect fit".

 Silent prayer will allow your "perfect fit" to be revealed to you.  Being in tune with the feeling of what you love will cause your "perfect fit" to find you.  Be awakened to the signs that God is placing before you and you will know if your slipper fits.  Ask God to show you what will make you happy.  Then shut everything off and listen.  Shut the television off, shut the iphone off, shut the ipods off, shut the door, turn off the endless and wasted thinking and give your mind to God.  Make room for your Prince to enter your imagination and bend at the knee of where you create, and place your foot in its forever slipper, giving you solid ground to move in the happy direction of your life.  Imagine yourself walking, grounded, yet completely free, in that slipper.  Feel its comfort, its roominess, its ability to support you and transport you to where you want to go.  Sense the vibrations of life beneath your feet as you step into your happiness.

May an angel light your path to happiness and dress you in the gown of peacefulness.  May you wear the crown of faithfulness and love, and taking the hand of your "prince",  dance to the song of happiness inside your heart. Having risen up out of everything that is  dark, may you be kissed by the passion of your dreams when you pray and led into the sunset of  blessed contentment because you are doing what you love to do and what you long to give to the world.

To my friend-followers in Russia, Germany, Denmark, India, Malaysia, Singapore, Canada, Austria, the Phillipines and the United States, I pray everyday that you are happy, safe, and secure. Our hearts are joined, and your happiness is my happiness.
Susie