What Not to Wear

If you have children, I am sure you have witnessed how they fight, or don’t fight.  One of them says something the wrong way, and a fist flies or a tongue sticks out.  Sometimes there is name calling, pouting, tattling, rolling on the floor, chasing each other around the house, crying, and even scratching.  Kids are passionate about being right and they let everyone know when they have been wronged.  They want revenge.  You took my toy so I’m going to take your toy.  You told on me so I’m going to tell on you.  And then of course the time-outs follow, the apologies are made and accepted, hugs are given, what is wrong is made right, and then they are on to something new. Bliss is restored…for a few minutes.  Kids are passionate about fighting because they feel attacked.  And for that matter, adults are just as passionate when they feel they have been attacked.  

 

Holy Week, one of the darkest weeks in our religious year, is all about what to do, and what not to do, when you feel attacked.  Not only did Jesus suffer physical attack,  it was probably the emotional/spiritual part of being “attacked” that holds the greatest lessons in how to be a human being who relies solely on the power of the divine to see us through our perceptions of being “wronged” rather than relying on the world in front of us.   Jesus, while demonstrating the power of the divine to dissolve darkness, gave us a handbook for what to do while experiencing emotional distress.  Jesus experienced everything that all of us, on some level, have experienced at one time or another in our lives.  He was betrayed, denied, misunderstood, accused, judged, made fun of, mocked, ridiculed, arrested, persecuted, sentenced to death, physically beaten, abused, and crucified on every level. The outer world was anything but kind to him.  But instead of relying solely on the outer world, he went within for strength, guidance, and God’s grace.

If any one of us had experienced any one of these type of “attacks”, we would have a natural inclination to want to “attack” back. The outer world is what we have put our trust in, rather than the inner world of grace and mercy.  This seemingly natural desire to blame is what we have trained our minds to believe to be the natural and “right” path to take.   How dare they say this about me?  Who do they think they are to spread a rumor like that?  I’ll show them!  You watch!  They’ll get there’s!  There is a place for people like you!  God will show them!  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!  Someday they’ll see that I was right and they were wrong!  They deserve whatever punishment they get. Can you believe they would say that?  What were they thinking!? How could they do this to me? 

Instead of nails, we crucify others through emails, facebook, text messages, cold shoulders, gossip, clenched fists, temper tantrums, yelling, crying, lying, avoidance,  denial, blame, lies, judgment, pride and fear.

Jesus, while on the cross, was there to demonstrate just how truly insane our thoughts on being “attacked” are.  He was able to take up his cross so that we might never have to take up the cross of our wrong-mindedness and our truly absurd thinking about how to react when we perceive ourselves as having been “attacked”.  I don’t know about you, but if I went through even the tiniest fraction of what Jesus endured, my plans for revenge would be detailed, dangerous, and death-like.  Instead,  Jesus only sees innocence in everyone around him…everyone. Jesus only had so much energy and strength left in him when he spoke from the cross, so no doubt, he chooses his words carefully in order to make the maximum impact.  What he chooses to say to everyone is miraculous and even shocking…. “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” He looked around and seeing a sea of anger and fear,  Jesus chooses to respond with an avalanche of love, showing us what real power is…it is not in our wounds, our judgment of others, or even our confidence that I am right and they are wrong. He shatters our love of being right! “I am right and they are wrong” is everyone’s golden calf. And its form must be melted down and shaped into a new mold and made into something purely golden, purely true…everyone is deserving of God’s love. Instead, Jesus, completely filled with the Holy Spirit,  sees only what is in their heart and their mind. He didn’t tell people to get more religious, he invited people to be more loving. Jesus doesn’t proclaim himself right, he only proclaims everyone loved despite everything that has just happened.  Jesus sees things through the eye of the divine and proclaims his belief that all of this could be no other way than what it is.  He doesn’t yell back at them.  He doesn’t tell them that they will go to hell.  He doesn’t attack them with anything other than the loving, forgiving thought. And he doesn’t point fingers or shake a fist on his long road to crucifixion.  It was not all about Jesus.  He wanted it to be all about God and love.  From the cross, Jesus doesn’t proclaim how sinful they are, he doesn't ask for a list of sins, and he doesn’t say I will haunt you from Heaven.  He doesn’t promise he’ll seek revenge. He doesn’t lord any kind of power over the people. Instead, he promises them paradise. Another extremely radical moment. Jesus replies to his persecutors:  “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise”.  In effect, he promises to keep them in the paradise of his mind and heart.  He promises them to hold them peacefully, choosing to bless them instead of returning hate for hate.

Think about it, when we perceive ourselves to be attacked, our first reaction usually isn’t an invitation to the attacker to come be with me in paradise.  Jesus, despite the physical pain, the emotional turmoil, and a crucifixion no less, he believes in paradise for everyone!  Everyone! At the very core of this paradise was Jesus’ belief in oneness.  He only saw that everyone was one with him and he with them…He needed his attackers to be with him in the paradise of his heart.  Paradise for one person, or one certain type of person, isn’t paradise at all. He didn’t believe himself to be separate from his “attackers”. He knew that if he loved them, he was loving himself…. even the people who “hurt” him the most, and I would venture to say, especially the people who hurt him the most.  People who are filled with anger, hurt, revenge, and every other kind of pain are the people that need to feel paradise the most.  If their mind and hearts had been fixed on paradise in the first place, no crucifixion would have ever taken place.  Jesus, in effect says,  If they would have known better, they would have done better.  There is no other way they could be but what they were.  That is a radical thought, a very radical thought.  Put another way,  we would never expect a child in kindergarten to behave, think, and act like a senior in college. Will I be child-ish in my adult-looking body?  Or child-like choosing the loving adult-response?  It is hard for me to choose the latter.

You know the show on TLC called What Not to Wear ( the show that I could star in each and every week?)  Well, the show that Jesus starred in could be called What Not to Do When You Feel Hurt…. Just as the TLC show gives us “rules” for wearing clothes”,  Jesus gives us new rules for healing our hurt.   When the women on the show are given $5000 to buy a new wardrobe, they literally turn to Stacy and Clint in order to re-train their minds about what works on their bodies and what doesn’t work.  They take an out-dated, worn-out, wardrobe, and are made beautiful, and for some women, strikingly almost unrecognizable because they are so transformed.  

The reality show Jesus “starred in” shows us how to re-train our hearts and minds so that we can “wear the world” in a new fashion, in the most beautiful way, and look, feel, and present our very best to all, our Highest Nature. Jesus is asking us to take our old and out-dated beliefs about hurt, and put on a new wardrobe of peace and love. Our hearts and minds re-trained, we create a paradise free of hurt, revenge, pain, and victimhood. And isn’t that paradise?  A place inside ourselves where we cannot be touched by any kind of hurt whatsoever. A place only touched by peace.  A place where we pray for the same for absolutely everyone else, heeding the call to bless our persecutors instead of cursing them. Paradise for just me, and people like me, isn’t paradise at all. That is a club. Jesus wasn’t inviting anyone to be a member of a club. So, instead of calling on a lawyer and serving a lawsuit, we call on God and serve love instead of fear. We reach for that divine place within ourselves, and we remember who we are meant to be, following our new rules:

It is not about me, it is about God and love

Love and forgiveness are the only real power.

Magnifying my wounds only multiplies more hurt.

Holding onto hurt only hurts me because we are one.

Justice isn't revenge.  It is love, given freely and fairly.

You cannot bring an enemy to an altar and claim to worship God at the same altar.

You can feel hurt and still transcend it and be transformed by it.

Hate and negativity takes up the space where miracles should reside and grow.  It is not that God doesn't give us miracles, we do not allow them to flow through us when we hold onto the negative.

 

Jesus destroyed our belief and our need and love for  the enemy. Jesus destroyed our loyalty to being a victim.   Jesus destroyed our addiction to fear and the need for revenge.  For many of us, we have been taught that to love someone unconditionally is thought of as weak.  Praying for someone who has hurt us is not always seen as powerful and strong. Instead, many of us equate praying for our enemy as letting them “win”, which makes us the loser. (remember Charlie Sheen’s famous slogan:  WINNING!)  Hate breeds competition and Jesus destroyed the concept of winners and losers.

There is no competition when it comes to love.  When you give love everyone wins.  

 I know I fail at this call to love almost every day, but I plan to keep on trying. I plan to keep moving toward the radical side of life.  And maybe if we all get a little more radical about love, it won’t be, or feel ,so radical anymore. It will be the new normal.  Grace will finally have returned us to sanity.

 I     I plan to remain faithful to prayer and strive to remain teachable, available, and open to God’s grace.  I plan to keep myself moving toward the light.  I plan to try to let God continue to move this message from my head to my heart.  I plan to allow God to free me from the death- linens that I have wrapped so tightly around my heart. I plan to keep my heart tuned in to TLC, the “learning channel” that all of life is.  I plan to wake up, and realize that  not only have I been wearing clothing that isn’t befitting of me, or reflect who I really am, I have been wearing them backward and inside out….tags and seams showing, labels exposed, with mismatched pieces.  I plan to rise up in new garments  that are tailored to my body and spirit, wearing a new wardrobe that clearly showcases the best parts of me. Clothing that is reflective of my spirit and appropriate to the task at hand.  I plan to take a risk and wear new patterns and textures. I plan to give away the One Size Fits All mindset and I plan to be made over from head-to-toe, excited to wear the new “me”.  People will cheer and cry and embrace me, excited to see me looking and feeling so beautiful.  I plan to see myself the way Jesus saw everyone from that cross …lovely, beautiful, and worthy.