Olivia
rushes in the house with a fist full of flowers! Yellow
and beautiful ones, Mom! Just like
you! What mom can resist pulling out
a vase and filling it with those precious dandelions after a compliment like
that? I even picked up tiny vases at Goodwill
just for all the incoming dandelions.
Who can make a weed seem more precious than a child who sees only the
beautiful color and the resemblance of a flower? Through Olivia’s imagination there is no
difference between weeds and flowers. She
doesn’t even really comprehend that weeds exist, and that they are not helpful
to lawns and flower beds. If it is
growing, looks pretty, and fits in one of our vases it belongs in the category
of flowers to her. She won’t understand
they are weeds until someone teaches her that,
and
for now, I don’t want to be that person.
For
Easter my children were given those little dollar planting pots from
Target. They came with a packet of
seeds, the potted soil, and the little pot to put a few tablespoons of water in. Children are always so enthusiastic at the
prospect of growing something beautiful, especially when it is something that
they planted and watered and took care of.
All three of our growing pots are sitting on the window sill above the
kitchen sink. It is as if the kids get to try their hand at performing a little
bit of magic. Plant a tiny seed and get
a flower or a vegetable or an herb. For
the past several days now, Olivia runs to her pot every couple of hours to see
if the flower is there. Where is it, Mom? I thought you said it would grow? How long till we see the flower? Just
yesterday, you can see that the ground has started to give way to something
growing beneath in the darkness. There
is life way down deep where we cannot see the “magic” happening. After a little disappointment, I always tell
her to see the flower in her imagination and in God’s time, the flower will
appear. Then I always ask her to tell me
about the flower she sees in her imagination.
I ask her to tell me the color, the way it smells, what it feels like,
and how big it is. It is kind of a fun
little game we play while we wait for the flower to bloom.
A
seed and the flower that results is so symbolic of how God takes us from imagination
to result, from believing to doing, and from cause to effect. The seed is the word of God...Luke 8:11 For the last five years, I have been working
on writing a book of prayers and reflections for mothers. What started out as a
need for prayers and reflections for a mother’s group at our church led to writing a book, which is now being
printed with a publisher and sold. One
little thought-seed that God planted in the soil of my mind, and eventually my
heart, grew. God kept that seed alive through everyone else’s encouragement,
prayers, and support as I felt it take root inside me. I’m really good at starting things, but not
so great at following them through. But something kept me following through and
when I wanted to throw the prayers in a folder and wait for a better time, God
would say, Susie, there is no better
time. And then the excuses: But, God, I have three small children, a
thousand commitments at church and I’m sleep deprived. I can’t speak a whole sentence most days let
alone write a whole sentence that might actually help someone. And then
God: You’re not writing this, Susie, I
am. I just need you to sit at the
computer and let me think through you. I
just need you to type, believe, and I’ll help you find the time and the energy.
When
you put it in that perspective, it is hard to say no. Every seed, a prayer, every bit of time I
could scrape up grew roots, and when I wanted to give up, I just kept my eye on
the flower, the end result. But as for that in the good soil, these are the ones who, when they hear the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patient endurance. Luke 8: 15 Instead of
thinking about writing the whole entire book, I kept my thought on the prayer
in front of me, or the reflection, or the scripture. And eventually, the roots broke through the
soil, and pages started to pile up.
Having a mom’s group to share them with, and a newsletter to put them in,
kept me on track and focused.
Inspiration showered down from conversations with other mothers and kept
watering those seeds, sunshine came from compliments, requests for more, and
other’s belief in me. I had to be
careful about weed-doubts that might take up energy from what was trying to
break through and grow. But most of all,
love kept everything growing. Love for mothers. Love for praying and writing, and love for
God, and what God was trying to accomplish through a mom with everyday
struggles, challenges, and small victories.
I loved writing.
I
loved seeing a finished prayer, and then praying it! I loved the rush of an insight or a thought
that I couldn’t have had without the Holy Spirit being completely involved in
the project. I loved how God was
crossing t’s and dotting i’s, and filling the pages. And I loved it when I finally got the whole
mess of papers organized enough into a white binder, that eventually were
shaped into chapters, with themes no less!
Just like a leaf that has finally broken through in the flower pot, you
could really believe that there would be a flower. And as the binder grew thick with the prayers
and thoughts of God, my belief grew ever firm and even more powerful. There would be a prayer book at the end of it
all.
Breaking
through the soil was the biggest challenge.
For me the soil was the time! Fertile time! And not just the amount of time, but time
that would allow for some deep, concentrated thought about what was being
entered on the keyboard and showing up on a computer screen. I could panic about finding time, but once I
finally relaxed and believed that time would multiply too, that precious soil
would be rich and fertile. I started to
really examine my day and what it was filled with. And in the beginning, I would take twenty
minutes here and there, and then I realized that multitasking would once again
come in handy. I could nurse a baby on
my lap while sitting at the computer desk.
Done! Baby filled, pages
filled! Then there were all the minutes
adding up waiting to pick up Clare from school.
If I went a little earlier Nathan and Olivia usually fell asleep. Another fifteen or twenty minutes to at least
make some notes, write half a prayer, or jot down some scripture. And when I forgot my notebook, I used the receipts
lying next to the driver’s seat. Or the
napkin left over from McDonalds, or the
worship aide I forgot to leave at church, and I would stuff them in my purse
and throw them in my binder later. After
the kids would go to bed, instead of three hours of mindless television, I
would grab the laptop and sit in the recliner and write for an hour and a half
and then choose a show to watch. It
became my reward for writing a few more paragraphs. But I did promise myself that if I was just
too tired, too uninspired, too anything, I could let it go and put it in the
Great Gardener’s hands and trust in God’s timing. Nothing grows when you are panicked, rushed,
and urgent about seeing a result. It is
enough that there is soil, a seed, and some water and sun. We can’t really see the roots taking hold,
but we know and believe they are there.
You can’t really see the seed cracking open into a whole plant, nor can
we make that happen on our own, but we know that it is happening. It is part of nature, and nature is full of
God. Only God can take a seed, and
without that seed trying to make itself grow into a flower, will that seed
become what it was meant to become. The
seed doesn’t feel panicked or worried that it isn’t a flower yet. It just does what it is naturally meant to do
without getting in its own way of becoming a flower. The seed trusts that it will bloom when
spring comes. It doesn’t count days or
worry about the length of winter. It
doesn’t think about the weeds around it or what could dig it up and prevent it
from growing. It simply is already a
flower, even in its earliest form of a seed. Since there is no real time, the
seed is a blossom, a root, a stem, and a leaf, all at once, that unfolds in time as God knows it to be.
The
first line I wrote was already a sentence, a chapter, a section, and a
book. God didn’t want me to worry, fret,
or wonder how it would get into someone’s hands because it would naturally
happen. There was only one thing left, a
publisher. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there, and it will move.' and nothing will be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20Think I didn’t worry a little about that one? Enter God, again. A friend of ours calls
Charles out-of-the-blue to see how we were doing. She is in the printing business and is
friends of a priest that both Charles and I knew well back in Nebraska. She helped him put his first book together,
and she put me in touch with him, but also helped me organize my book so that
it could be sent to the publisher. And
if I couldn’t find a publisher, she would help me get it printed anyway. Friend knows priest. I contact priest. Priest helps me write a query. Friend organizes entire book. I contact the publisher. Publisher likes query and book. I am offered a publishing contract for five
books. The first of which is being printed
on Monday. And guess what was presented
to me on the cover of the first book… A flower in full bloom!
God
had all the details, the how, the where, the who, and the way to get his work
accomplished in the world. I only acted
when inspired. Any worrying I did added
absolutely nothing to the process, and probably added new gray hair. In fact,
it probably only hindered it, because when our mind clings to worry, then God’s
inspiration, direction, and plans cannot flow through our heart and mind, and
into our lives.
And
I’ll bet if you look back at the garden of your life, you can see where the
seeds have been planted and how you were inspired, motivated, and moved to grow
something there. Maybe it was a career
or children, or a special volunteer position you had been wanting to do. Maybe it was a husband or an adopted child or
a hobby. And I’d be willing to bet that the real “work” was done by God, but
you simply held onto the vision of the “flower” and trusted that there would be
enough sun, enough rain, enough fertile soil, and enough care to cause it to grow
into fruition. God is always planting
seeds, or ideas, in the fields of our imagination, and all he requires of us is
our belief and acting upon our love for a simple seed and a love of the
inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
Pay
attention to the seed. Be alert to the signs of its germination, in the fields
of your imagination. It is there that God creates miracles. Hold onto the
belief that the seed you feel, is
already a flower. Let love flow through
your efforts and you will soon reap what has been sown in mind and heart. Don’t worry.
Don’t fret about money, equipment, time, or talent. Don’t try to figure
out how God is going to do this, just trust that He will. If I can write a book over five years and see
it through to publishing, believe me, whatever dream has been trying to break
through the soil of your life, will eventually break through and flourish.
So
readers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For you are part of the beauty of that
flower. You are a piece of the paradise that God continues to grow in my
life. You watered the seed through your
prayers, your compliments and encouragement, and your support to me in so many
ways: as babysitters, retreatants, your
monetary support, and even in simply passing this blog on to someone else. You
gave me space in newsletters, web sites, and rooms in your churches to lead
quiet days and days of reflection and renewal.
All of you, with the grace of God, were why I had no reason to toil,
sweat, or worry about growing a little piece of heaven. Many of you around the world, I have not met,
but I hold the time and attention that you give to this blog in deep
gratitude. I do not take your hearts or
your time for granted. I will pray for
your seeds, for the gardens that you are cultivating, and that you may feel the
glory of a golden, spring paradise in your corner of the world!
I
hope you will consider making Mother Prayers, Mama Wisdom, a part of your
library, whether electronically or a book that you hold in your hand. Women of all ages, whether you have just had a baby or have raised all
your babies into adults will find something in these pages. Perfect for Mother’s Day, baby showers,
baptisms, birthday gifts, grandmothers, church gift shops, care baskets for new
moms, or just because…. you will not be disappointed in content and
inspiration. I simply wrote down what
God spoke to me. These five books were
not from me, but came through me. And I would love for you to have them! The link to Tau-Publishing is on my blog page
for your convenience.
